Monday, January 31, 2011

Compliments

Giving and receiving compliments is both an art and skill.

Why do we find it so hard to give compliments?
After all, a compliment is saying something nice, something positive to others about them. And that should come naturally if it is a genuine compliment. Yet, we all fumble many times… I wonder why we find it so hard
• Can’t we find anything to compliment? – If you look you’ll find a zillion things that you can compliment others for
• Don’t we find the right words at the right moment? – Words don’t really matter if it’s a genuine compliment. It’s the underlying thought which counts. And every moment is the right moment.
• Are we shy ourselves? And feel a little inhibited? – Can’t we let-go of our shyness and inhibitions for a good cause
• Do we feel that it’s not required? And that others will understand our silence? – No. Something’s have to be expressed - Loud and Clear. And it does not matter if you have to repeat it, but then if it’s well deserved, it’s worthwhile to express. I am yet to meet anyone who has told me that they have had enough of compliments. It’s simply never enough!!!

And then I wonder why do we find it so hard to accept compliments?
Again, someone is saying nice positive and good things about us. Yet, why do we feel shy or squirm or almost feel embarrassed at the mention of compliments in our name.
• Do we feel we don’t deserve them? – Of course you do. If someone means it, then you very well deserve it. You probably don’t see things in yourselves which others do
• Don’t we like spotlight? – It’s not that we are celebrities. But then if a compliment does make us feel special and puts the spotlight on us, then great. We should learn to go with the flow and enjoy the experience while it lasts

Looking back
I think I will always cherish the best compliments that I have received because:
• They came when I least expected them
• They came from people whom I never thought could / would ever compliment me. Some because they are people I really admire, or really look up to, or are super achievers / perfectionists / epitomes of excellence in their sphere of life or are simply not the expressive type
• They were for some achievements in my life which had a deep emotional connect for me personally. And the fact that someone cared enough to observe, acknowledge and appreciate meant a lot to me
• They were honest, genuine and heart-felt. And if that’s the case, then the words and language is immaterial. The thought is always well received

In conclusion
• Compliment others if you genuinely feel they deserve it. There’s no reason to shy away or procrastinate. The moment will just pass. You may not ever get another opportunity. And it can make a difference to someone – At the very least, it will make them happy for a few moments. And that’s great!
• Accept compliments gracefully. After all, someone is saying something good, nice and positive. If you’re not the wordy expressive type, a simple acknowledgement and “Thank You” will suffice.

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