Clap your Hands... Sing a Song

Ever closely observed typical adult behavior in a kiddie’s party – Birthday or any other celebration. It’s amusing, interesting and is an indicator of how we grow and evolve.. After all, we were not born adults; & were also kids sometime in our life.. And a party is a happy celebration with happy memories and typically loads of fun, activities and goodies…

And then of course, if you closely observe kiddie behavior at a kiddie party. That’s another amazing world all-together!!!

Some Observations & Realizations
• Typical reservation among most adults to even clap hands or sing the birthday song “Happy Birthday to You… Happy Birthday to You…….”– Something so basic, Something which we all enjoyed as kids, Something so fun…
• Reluctance to join the birthday festivities, let your guard down and have pure kiddie fun ; Somewhere adults are conscious of appropriate social conduct (& many times they believe it should be in line with their status and standing in life)
• Kids are the birthday planners - They know what they want, Whom they should invite and Also make meaningful contributions in how to plan and execute the birthday party – Right from the birthday menu, selection of cake, choice of clothes, etc. etc. etc.
• In a kiddie party, no one really notices or judges adults for how well they sing, how loudly you clap your hands or how well behaved you are – You can be a kid among and along with kiddies; And it’s a great chance to have some innocent laughs, silly jokes and unadulterated fun!!!
• Kids are aware – Thanks to technology and access to loads of information via multiple channels
• Kids have great life skills – Something which they are formally learning and are trained on. On the flipside, many of them seem to lose their “real nature & self”. How they will eventually turn out is something which only time can tell
• Kids are clear on priorities – In terms of everything in life. Specially in terms of whom and what they want to be associated with
• A party is a great opportunity to interact with a bunch of kids of the next generation ; You get to see and observe their natural behaviors, their thoughts, their social skills, their opinions, their general knowledge, ………………….

Kiddie Banter..

Conversation One
Me: Where are you going?
Kiddo: To a party
Me: What party?
Kiddo: Doll party
Me: ???? What’s a doll party?
Kiddo: One of my friends bought a new doll. So we are all going to her house to see her doll & we can take our dolls also so that all the dolls can play together!!!

Conversation Two
Kiddo: I want to sing my school prayer
Me: OK. Go ahead
Kiddo: …La La La…. All Indians are my brothers and sisters… La La La
Me: Are you an Indian?
Kiddo: Yes
Me: Thinking aloud… Then whom will you marry?
Kiddo’s Mom: Americans, Europeans, Chinese.. So many options. That’s why we send them to International schools!!!

Conversation Three
Kiddo: What’s your baby’s name?
Me: N
Kiddo (whispers to her mother): Mummy, That’s such a nice name. Why did you not keep my name as N? I don’t like my name. It’s so boring!!!

Memoirs of a Geisha

Again a movie which I watched recently; & really enjoyed…
Random ruminations on movie-watch:

• There is something so intriguing and mystical about Japanese – culture, people, arts, lifestyle, business, innovations, lifestyle, growth, advancement,…which will always fascinate me. The first brush I had with Japanese was when I saw the TV serial Oshin (1984 – 85 if I recall right!). The story moved me, intrigued me and fascinated me… And I will always remember Oshin for her sheer perseverance and the spirit with which she endured the struggles of life. I really loved the innocence and purity of her smile… And the way the serial was directed..
• One moment, One touch, One smile, One tear, One victory, One hope, One dream, One thought, One disagreement, One event, One word, One silence, One advice, One experience – Is sometimes all that is required to change your life forever!!!
• Most life skills can be learnt if you really want to. And one needs to constantly upgrade and update and constantly evolve and improvise on several life skills to grow and progress in life
• You usually get back what you give – If not from whom you gave to, from someone else. The law of averages works itself in the “give” and “take” bank
• It takes countless hours to create things of beauty, and only a second to consume and destroy them. The math somehow does not seem to work!!!

The Kiterunner

* Will pick the book any day than watch the movie
* Movie is very well crafted and does good justice to the author’s vision. One of the books where I felt that literature was tastefully converted to cinema
* Key Messages
       1)  “Law of Karma” in action – You are accountable for your actions and deeds – both good and bad… If not today, then definitely tomorrow
       2) There are very few people for whom we can do anything anytime anywhere – No preconditions, No questions, No thoughts – Just pure action. The underlying emotions are usually love, fear or respect
       3) Some bonds can never be defined – They just exist. And there is uniqueness in the beginnings, in the evolution and in the conclusion…. Or there is never really an end
      4) Division and Discrimination are all in the mind
      5) Honesty is a great virtue. You need courage and strength of character to be honest & stand up for honesty

Why do we repeat mistakes?

So many of us repeat the same mistakes - again and again and again. We burn our fingers, learn our lessons but still end up repeating these mistakes... Whether it is a school kid who makes the same spelling mistakes, the spouse who makes the same hurtful comments, the boss who thoughtlessly gives feedback in public, the friend who uses a secret (which you confided in strict confidence & probably never to be mentioned) against you, the sometimes unpleasant behaviors of ourselves and those around us, the unforgiveable lies....

I wonder why we repeat the same mistakes inspite of the past, the learning, the implications..
* Do we forget?
* Do we find it hard to change our basic nature? And hence react / respond in the way we are genetically programmed?
* Is it in our nature to repeat the mistakes?
* Do we sometimes get so lost in the moment that don't take a minute before we say / do something?

Whatever it is, it's really not worth repeating mistakes... You end up paying a price (Sometimes more than you can imagine) for every repeitition...

North and South Indian Cooking

Over the past few years, I have observed, learnt and experimented with North and South Indian Cooking. While there are several differences, listing below some observations and key basic differences which influence the overall taste and culinary process to a great extent...

	North Indian Cooking	South Indian Cooking
Basic Seasoning	Jeera	Rai
Spice / Chilli	Red chilli powder	Green chilli paste
Sourness	Aamchoor powder	Fresh tamarind paste
Vegetable Cooking	Directly in oil	Parboil & then season in oil
Usage of coconut	Sparingly	Abundantly, especially in curries
Usage of curry leaves	Sparingly	Abundantly
Usage of garam masala	Abundantly	Sparingly
Most commonly used vegetables	Most popular and extensively used - Potato (in almost all dry curries), paneer, gobi, matar	Huge range – from carrots, beans, guards, brinjals…..
Dry Curry	Usually contain jeera, salt, chilli powder, Aamchur powder, Turmeric powder & Garam Masala	Usually contain rai, curry leaf, coconut, turmeric powder, salt
Wet Gravy	Usually contains onion paste, tomato paste, dhania powder, cream, chilli powder, additional masala powder (like garam masala, channa masala, rajma masala, etc.)	Very diverse range of preparation based on the dish
Breakfast	Usually parathas (aloo, gobi, methi, mooli…..)	Wide range – poha, upma, dosas (plain, masala, rava, pesarettu, adi….), rotti (rice, ragi…)….idlis….
Lunch / Dinner – Staple Food	Roti with sabzi and dal	Rice with curry, dal / sambhar, rasam and curd

Movie Musings | Sex and the City

I accidentally happened to watch the movie "Sex and the City" recently. Guess one of those times when I was randomly channel surfing and happened to stop at this channel.

To be honest, I did enjoy the movie... And was left with the following musings...
* There is a definite impact a place has on individuals - in terms of our day-to-day routine, to our thoughts, to our feelings, to our opinions, to our view of life, to our outlook, to our expressions, to our tastes, to our preferences, to our lifestyle...
* Friends play such an important role life - especially in certain stages and phases of life - It really does not matter whether you are single or with a family. For some things, friends come top on the list. And there are some tears and laughs which you will always reserve for that special friend - Simply because he / she will understand the emotion the best!!!
* There are some people in life with whom we always have undefined associations - We cannot put a finger or name to these relationships, but they exist. Very alive and as an integral part of our lives

Starting is always the HARDEST...

Starting anything is usually always the hardest – Whether it is an exercise plan, a new diet, a daily routine, studying for exams, reading, writing, giving up a bad habit, trying out something new, cultivating a good practice, experimentation, pursuing your childhood dreams & desires, higher studies, looking for a new job, finding your soul-mate, working on your life passion, working on improving relationships, saving money, financial planning and investments, learning…

Most of us always have the "Starting Trouble"….

I wonder why….

Is it because we may fail?
Is it because we fear the outcome?
Is it because we are not ready to change?
Is it because we are unsure of where it will take us?
Is it because we may realize that it was never meant to be?
Is it because we may recognize that it’s not what we are meant to do?
Is it because we are just too comfortable in our lives, and just not willing to break the inertia?

And invariably once we start, most of us tend to somehow complete [if not the real completion, at least a pseudo-completion and logical conclusion] what we began doing…

So it’s probably time to START...

Start doing that small thing which you always wanted to do
Start making that positive change you always wanted to make
Start cultivating that good habit which you always wanted to develop

Just start.. And the rest will follow… And it’s all always for the good!!!

Silence, Lies..... Secrets...

Adult life can be complicated. Somewhere between childhood and adulthood, we all have the following realizations

Realization 1: “Sometimes - It’s better to be silent, than to speak”
Whether it’s our viewpoints, opinions, judgments, dreams, theories, questions, answers….

I wonder why?
May be because others don’t care
May be because others don’t listen
May be because we lack confidence
May be because it’s not worth sharing
May be because others don’t understand
May be because we are unsure of ourselves
May be because we are unsure of what others will think / say
May be because we fear how it will influence our relationships
May be because we have not found someone worthy enough to share it with
May be because we are unable to assess the total impact it will have our lives

Realization 2: “Sometimes - It’s better to lie, than to be honest”
Whether its black lies, white lies or all shades of gray in between and sometimes the lies we tell to ourselves

I wonder why?
May be because it is easier
May be because that’s what others want to hear
May be because it’s the most practical means to survival
May be because we are human and hence do make mistakes – which others are not willing to accept

We all have different motives for the silences and lies…
And for every silence,
For every lie ….
We create a secret..
One which then becomes our very own
Buried deep down in the profundity of our mind, heart and soul
One which we must safeguard and protect
For our very own existence

Create… Consume... Critique

Creation takes time, dedicated efforts, creative energy, focused attention and the right catalysts…

And as we sail through life
We are all creators…
We create many different things
For different reasons
In tune with many seasons

* Children create moments of joy
* Parents create the future through their children
* Teachers create literate minds
* Magicians create moments of wonder, awe and amazement
* Moviemakers create cinema - sometimes they take you to the fantasy land & sometimes they show you the reality
* Researchers create hypothesis, theories and tons of articles, papers and research material
* Poets create poetry
* Lyricists create libretto – to make you laugh, to make you cry, to make you ponder…
* Home makers create a daily experience – to live, to relax, to be…
* Celebrities create news
* Politicians create policy (& sometimes misery, poverty and divide also)
* Media creates thrills, anxieties, views, opinions..
* Artists create art
* Chefs create a repast
* Jewellery designers create ornaments
* Interior decorators create beauty at home– through lights, window dressings, home décor, colors…
* Bosses / managers create work, stress…
* Customers / Clients create requirements, deadlines…

And collectively we create the present
Which will tomorrow become the past
And a part of our life history

And just like we are all creators…
We are all also consumers
We are all also critiques
Of what we create
Of what others create..

Creation is always the most difficult – takes the most time, effort and energy
Consumption is of medium difficulty
Criticism is always the easiest – takes the least effort, time and energy

It’s a chain 
It’s a cycle
It’s a part of the cosmos

Not worth it...

Some bets
Some cares
Some tears
Some risks
Some hopes
Some words
Some thrills
Some family
Some friends
Some efforts
Some battles
Some worries
Some dreams
Some advices
Some contacts
Some passions
Some musings
Some pleasures
Some creations
Some romances
Some challenges
Some vehemence
Some anticipation
Some attendances
Some suggestions
Some experiments
Some relationships
Some celebrations
Some appearances
Some expectations

Are just not worth it!!!

Surajkund Crafts Mela – 2011

I had the opportunity to visit the Surajkund Crafts Mela on Feb 12, 2011. A great experience!!! One which I will cherish for a long time…

What is the Surajkund Crafts Mela?
In the backdrop of the lake, during the spring season, every year from February 1–15, a colorful traditional craft festival of India is held in the precincts of Surajkund. This fair was first started in 1987. Traditional craftsman (artists, painters, weavers and sculptors) from all parts of the country participate in this annual celebration named as the “Surajkund Crafts Mela” or "Surajkund Designer’s Village”. Designer items created by 50 best designers and craftsmen in wood, metal, bamboo, iron, glass, textiles and stone can be seen here. This Mela (fair) is visited by lovers of arts and crafts from all over the world. The fair is held with a different theme every year on Indian culture and crafts
[ Src: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surajkund#Surjakund_mela ]

My Annotations
• The sheer vibrancy, energy and spirit in the air was amazing
• The number of visitors the event attracted was mind-blowing. From the billionaires in their BMW’s to the common man, From the little babies who are a few months old to the 70 year old granny, From the Germans, Americans and Brits to the Indians, From the lover of arts and crafts who come to really observe, discover and appreciate the crafts to the practical sensible home maker who comes with a neatly written shopping list and really has no real appreciation for the crafts at display……. – There was something in it for all
• The diversity in range of crafts at display was spectacular – from Kashmir to Madhya Pradesh to Maharashtra to Rajasthan…... This included clothes (Kashmir shawls, Salwars, Baby clothes, Kurtas…), jewellery, accessories (from chains, ear rings, bracelets,…..), sculpture, paintings, pottery, curtains , rugs, random gift articles – In each of them there was phenomenal range in color, in price, in creative talent, in …………just about everything. And this is so integral to the spirit of India – Diversity!!!
• There is a unique quality about crafts which can bridge gaps, diminish divides and permit diversity to peacefully co-exist and flourish
• Some of the crafts which will always fascinate me – Name inscriptions on a grain of rice, Pottery, Hand-made jewellery (from bracelets to bead chains), Artistic puppets, Random creative pieces (in paintings, in styles of shawls, in designs of home-décor…)
• If you need to re-model your house / change the décor / set-up a new environment / even buy gifts for a party or wedding, this is the place to visit. With a very reasonable budget, you will be able to achieve your objective. Every rupee will be worth it!!!
• And then there is also at display, traditional folk performances of music and dance. One of the musical groups consisted of an individual who has played the “been” for 10 hours continuously; and has received the Guinness Book of World record. He had this certificate at display in front of his performance!!! And this is the first time I have seen this certificate live. Apparently, he’s also been part of some Bollywood movie (starring Aamir Khan). He had this photo also on display!!!
• Overall, the place has a very positive and friendly environment. People are ready to help you, guide you and answer your queries. And all the time I was present, someone was getting lost every 30 minutes – simply because of the crowd. Also, it’s so easy to saunter off all over the place because there are so many things which will magnetize you… So the blaring sound of a loudspeaker announcing the names of lost individuals and requests for their friends and family was a constant background music
• Most people eventually end up buying more than they planned, more than they need, more than they can physically carry with their two hands…. Simply because the deals are great, the craftsmanship is excellent, the range is spectacular and most importantly, such diversity under a single roof is hard to find

Some Basic Things which can be Improved
• Availability of a map of the venue listing the different stalls and where what is available – This is beneficial for both the first time visitor and the regular annual visitor. It helps one better utilize their time and in locating the required stalls with ease
• A more structured grouping of the stalls – either by state or by craft or any other common logical attribute which makes maneuvering easy for the common visitor. The current placement of the stalls and their displays appeared to be so random and accidental!!!
• Availability of food which is of reasonable quality – It’s so easy to lose track of time and spend at least 4 hours with no clue of how time elapsed. And before you know - All the walking, shopping, talking – will leave you really famished. A quick snack or meal which is of good quality would be a welcome respite…
• Availability of a few places to sit – All the time on your feet can sometimes take a toll. So some places in between to keep your feet up would be a boon
• Availability of trolleys – To enable the visitor to stock up his / her purchases

If you are a creative soul, you will be filled with awe and will find the whole experience inspiring..

For my Marketing related insights, read my post @ http://www.paulwriter.com/blogs/item/259-marketing-surajkund-crafts-mela-2011

Motherhood Responses...

Most of the guys I know tell me that I am lucky to be on maternity leave. Some of them say it in good spirit and with the right intent. But many say it almost as if motherhood is only a time of merriment and relaxation. And most of them always tell me how the corporate world and professional commitments are supremely more complex and difficult than the motherhood world (Like I don’t know both worlds!!!). I’ve heard most of them tell me that motherhood (especially the initial few months) is no tensions, no stress, no pressures, no constraints, no worries, no one to answer to, no accountability, no targets / numbers and financial responsibility – I really don’t know what the future will bring to me as a mother, but I finally think I have found the right answer.

Enumerating one such conversation…during which I found the befitting response

He: …… it is so difficult… handling people is not easy… project delivery commitments have to be honored… such a difficult boss….. so many problems in the team….promotions are round the corner…. clients are so demanding… program management is complex…it’s so tiring.. you will never be able to understand….blah blah blah….. And lastly, it is an X million $ project. Whenever there is a financial accountability, my neck is on the line…..
Me: “Let’s pause for a moment….What is the price of life?”…
He: “As always, you are changing the topic. How does it matter?”
Me: “It’s completely relevant and I will explain in a bit, but first give me the number”
He: “I can’t put a number. It’s infinite. It’s priceless”
Me: Yes. That’s the number I am accountable for.
He: Silence. End of conversation….

Well, being a mother (especially the initial few months) has its share of highs and lows. And …

• Motherhood has its share of tensions
• Motherhood has its share of stress
• Motherhood comes with its baggage of pressures
• Motherhood imposes constraints (sometimes beyond imagination)
• Motherhood comes with a baggage of worries
• Motherhood means answering to a zillion people – And most importantly, to answer to yourself. Especially, if you did the right thing for your baby
• Motherhood means accountability for a complete human life
• Motherhood is difficult too sometimes
• Motherhood is about commitments – Lifelong commitments
• Motherhood is about having a baby boss at you, with you and around you
• Motherhood is about problems sometimes
• Motherhood means promotion to shoulder a new role with additional responsibilities @ home;, And many times having to forego promotions @ work
• Motherhood means continuous demands – all through day night, summer spring autumn and winter
• Motherhood does involve program management – Your baby, your spouse, your house, your family, your job are all mini-projects which need to be handled

And if you don’t believe me, ask your mother!!!

Grandparents and Grandchildren…

There is a unique bond between grandparents and grandchildren.

Something which I will probably never understand in entirety (may be till I become one myself), Something which defies logic, Something which can never be explained, Something which never ceases to surprise, amaze and shock me, Something which brings about changes in people that they almost turn into something else (You sometimes wonder if you ever knew them)….

• I have never heard my father singing in my entire life (Maybe he did when I was a baby, and I don’t remember). And when he became a grandfather, I heard him hum and sing a zillion songs, Not even songs – They were lullabies – So meaningful, So musical and always got the babies to sleep. I don’t know from where he learnt them. I was pleasantly surprised :)

• My mother made pretty dresses for N and D with her wedding sari. I was shocked! I don’t think she has actually stitched such stuff for anyone for several years. And in spite of everything, she found the time to stitch these dresses

• VT who has never held a single baby in his entire life (Even his own children - At least not until they were 1)  has played, sung and carried N every day for almost a month – when she was a new born baby

• SPK who has probably never really bought (out of his own interest) any real gift for anyone in his entire life (including himself, his wife, kids or anyone else) bought a white just-so-pretty-and-perfect frock for N. And the best part is, he bought trendy matching accessories along with it. And the accessories complemented the dress so beautifully – I was both shocked and pleasantly surprised!!

• IK who has probably not knitted for several years made hand-made sweaters and frocks for N. Each one was so beautiful – In color, form and style

• From time immemorial, it has been V’s habit to read the paper every morning (Yes! The one in print and paper). If anyone in his house touches the paper before he does, they are in for a good morning doze. And since he became a grandfather, his grandson wakes up every morning, runs to the door, gets the paper and tears it up (It gives K immense happiness to tear up the newspaper to bits). V says nothing and I mean nothing!!! – In fact, many times everyone has caught him enjoying the act and if anyone looks at him, he gives a sheepish grin. And it’s not a once in a way occurrence – It’s a daily ritual. And V actually justifies his grandson’s daily act with some weird proprietary logic. Well whatever! As long as peace prevails within the four walls, no one really cares about the state of the newspaper

• Dr GG told me that he wonders if he even has an identity at home. All decisions are made by his parents after consultation with his daughters He told me one day that he is yet to find a suitable place, a voice and standing in his house. And if his parents are out and call him, they don’t ever say “Hello. How are you?”. The first thing they ask is “How are the grandkids?”

• Dr S told me that his mom is an arthritis patient with severe knee & joint pains; and could barely walk. Ever since he came back to India from London, he has hardly heard his mom ever mention about pain in her knees. She spends a great part of her daily time actively playing with the grand kids. He has to sometimes check with her on aches and pains. And many times she simply dismisses him!!!

• S’s father is one the really strict(esssssssst) people I know – Someone I have known for more than two decades and have heard him discipline his kids all through their childhood and adult life. After a point, it irritated and annoyed everyone in his family. And today, he is a grandfather. Surprisingly now, he has different rules as far as his grandchildren are concerned – No one can discipline / shout at any of them (At least in front of him). If anyone raises their voice, they know what they will get from him!!! And again his family is irritated and annoyed :)

And now that I am a mother,
Am aware of things which I have probably never observed in my life
Appreciate things which I always took for granted in life
Care about things which I never cared about
Worry about things which I never used to worry about
Do things which I have never done in my life..

So then, I guess a grandparent must go through some unique emotions of their own - when they see and spend time with their grandchildren.

And many times
They seem to forget all the mental stress
They seem to forget all the financial woes
They seem to forget all the drudgery of old-age
They seem to forget all the monotony of daily life
They seem to forget all the diseases, physical aches, pains and ailments

Just to share a moment of pure unadulterated joy with their grandchildren
Only for a baby coo
Only for a baby hug
Only for a baby kiss
Only for a baby’s smile
Only to listen to a baby tale
Only to witness a baby adorn a new dress
Only to see a baby relish the food they cook
Only to view a baby wear the dress they stitched, they knitted with their old weary hands

My first blog post published in MindBlogs

My first blog post has been published in MindBlogs. Check out the link -> http://mindblogs1.wordpress.com/2011/02/05/guest-blogger-nischala-murthy-writes/

The Background - How it all happened?
Over the past few months, I have discovered my love for writing. I’ve probably written more in the last few months, than I have in my entire life. I have posted my writings in several blogs (including this one), saved many in my hard disk and have countless more scripted in my mind – yearning to come out in print and paper.

The response and feedback that I have received has taken me by surprise. Honestly, I am overwhelmed. Most people who know me personally (& some of them I have really not spoken for years) have got back to me in some way – phone, mail, SMS, a Facebook message – All said that they loved what I wrote, looked forward to reading my blogs regularly, I should write more, I should get my work published – All real nice stuff. And this ranges from my parents, to family, to friends to anonymous faceless strangers in Netherlands, Canada and Philippines. Thank you all for reading my blog and more importantly letting me know that you enjoyed reading.

Well, being a novice in the literary world – I really did not know what to do next. I love writing, I am writing, and I am getting a great response… Lots of suggestions / propositions on next steps... I knew that I want my writings to have a larger reach… I want my work to be published… I want to write more… I want to... But really clueless on how to get what I wanted?

And so a quick message to an old school friend who I know had some insight and connections in the literary world. And a prompt reply (Thank You I). She gave me loads of suggestions and inputs. And many of these will probably take long to execute – Because they need more time and effort. Also, given my current motherhood status, time is a scarce commodity. In the end, she suggested I connect with another school friend who works at The Hindu. I have not spoken to her again for years. Luckily when I was online a few days back, she was too. A quick chat and she shared the link of Mindblogs and that I should connect with them (Thank You B).

I wrote to Zahid with the link to my blog and a list of my favorite posts. And a quick mail response from Zahid with the link of my guest blog. (Thank You Zahid)

And so my first guest blog is now up in Mindblogs…

Well, over time I have come to believe that if really want something from deep within, you will get it. And if you don’t get it, then you probably didn’t really want it with all your heart.

This and a couple of other recent life experiences have strengthened my resolve in this belief… That, there is truth in “The Secret”, “The Power” (Yes! Both by Rhonda Byrne). And that they both work.. Always!!!

So as a parting note, if you are reading this and know someone somewhere who will enjoy reading this blog, please do share the link with them.  Thank You!!! 

Oral Communication

The ultimate test of oral communication is

If you can get a diverse audience (in age, ethnicity, phase of life, gender, financial status, profession, social stature,….)
Who is clueless about your identity (Where you come from? What’s your stature? What’s your past? What are your achievements? …..)
And speak about any topic of your choice
And get majority of the audience attention for at least 30 minutes….

Just try it sometime…
If you are successful – You are great at oral communication
If not – You will at least see the real picture

Here’s what I realized:
• Many times we listen to others simply
o Because of who they are
o Because we respect them
o Because of what they achieved
o Because of where they come from
o Because we have to – They exercise some form of power and authority

• Many times, we are barely able to relate with the content, simply because
o It’s so boring
o It’s so baseless
o It’s so repetitive
o It’s so irrelevant
o It’s so convoluted
o It’s so meaningless

• And there are some people who are just-so-perfect in oral communication, and what stands out is that you listen to them because of
o The words used
o The purity of language
o The honesty in the voice
o The message they convey
o The pauses and silences they take
o The beauty with which they articulate
o The uniqueness of language, tone, pitch and style
o The power in the voice (& this is usually not loud)
o The originality in creative expression – They give an age old message a new spirit

Writing is a Creative Process

Writing is a process… To be more precise, a Creative Process. And just like any other creative process – Be it painting, cooking or direction – There’s a lot that goes in before you see the end result.

So what all goes into writing?

Firstly, you need to have clarity on what to write. You need to have an idea - A topic. A message. A point of view. A dream. A reflection. A fleeting thought. An emotion. A recollection. A person. An event. A hope. A tale. A fantasy. A fiction….. This is usually the hardest which is why most people find it hard to write. Because, one does not know what to write about.

Secondly, you need to be clear on “For whom are you writing”. Essentially, are you writing for yourself or others? And if you are writing for others, who exactly is your audience? What are their general sensibilities? A lot of your content and writing style will be influenced by this.

Thirdly, you need to be clear about the how you will articulate what you want to write about – the literary form (poetry, prose, etc.), the style, the length, the humor and wit, the dialogues, the conversations,…. And somewhere it should align with what your audience tastes.

Next, you need to come up with the words – the right vocabulary which will do justice to your idea. And sometimes this is the most challenging. And probably that’s why it is often said that “Words do no justice to the underlying thoughts”

Next, you need to take the time to articulate the words over a medium. Be it on a blog, a personal diary or simply just scribbled on a piece of paper. Till it is externalized and given form, it will continue to remain in its formless state

And lastly, somewhere in the middle of all this writing – you should be able to understand and appreciate on why you are writing…

Yes! Writing is a Creative Process. A gift endowed on a select few, and those who do have this gift wield a power.

A power to move
A power to create
A power to influence
A power to mend ways
A power to supplement
A power to complement
A power to build bridges
A power to hope and dream
A power yet to be fully explored
A power yet to be fully understood…

Diversity in my Blog…

Someone commented today “There is great diversity in your blog and that’s an awesome talent….”

Well I was not really aware of this, it was never planned, it was not intentional, but I guess it evolved that way.

Where is the diversity? I asked myself.. And then came the answers

Diversity in topics (The range surprised me), Diversity in style (There’s poetry, prose, and all that in between), Diversity in length (There’s one with a few words and some loooooooooong tales), Diversity in depth (From really profound to the superficial ones), Diversity in emotions (Some make you laugh, Some make you cry, Some touch your soul..- So I’ve been told), Diversity in authenticity (There are some facts, some fiction, some reality), Diversity in imagination (Mine and yours), Diversity in views of life and the world, Diversity in people around and what’s inscribed about them, Diversity in the lens worn, Diversity in observations, Diversity in wit and humor, Diversity in what is recalled and reflected about, Diversity in learning’s, Diversity in genre, Diversity in impact on readers, Diversity in thoughts, Diversity in creativity….

Hmmmm…. I agree with the comment :)

Cluny Nostalgia

“11th Main, 13th Cross, Malleswaram” – If you ever went there, this will resonate with you.

If you are wondering what I am writing about, it is the address of the school I went to.

To be honest, I have not stepped into school ever since I passed out more than a decade ago. But don’t know why, the last few days I have been thinking a lot about Cluny. So it only seemed natural to dedicate a blog with all the special memories… Things that I will never forget… Things which I am pleasantly surprised are still so vivid in my mind… Images which flash through my mind with the clarity of 14 Megapixel camera. I guess if you are a Clunyite and studied in the time that I did, most of these will resonate with you.

• The rustic school building – I used to love the texture, color and feel of the stone
• As soon as you enter the school gate, there’s a road up to the chapel and one which slopes down to the ground. I used to love this view – As if it almost said, you can choose the path and the destination will unfold accordingly
• The school uniform – And whoever designed it did a spectacular job. And I have seen thousands of school uniforms for the past two decades, but nothing can really match the Cluny one – It was so comfortable, so stylish, so classy – Almost as if it had a character of its own
• The school houses – Xaviers, Lawerence, Thomas and Joseph. I know the names changed later, but I don’t have any recollection of the new names. And it’s so silly, but even now when we speak we still ask each other “Hey! Which house were you in?” – Like it really makes any difference in our lives today. But still there was a sense of association, pride and belonging – as if the house you belonged to was synonymous with your identity
• Our favorite hang-outs in school – The nursery school water taps, playground, hallways outside the classrooms…
• “Here upon St. Josephs mount” – The school song. I still remember the words and that took me completely by shock!!!
• Teachers who most of us will never forget – Ferny (I guess she will be on the top for 95% of us), Miss Hoppi (I don’t know if I got the spelling right), Miss Susheela, Miss Joyce (In retrospect, I am amazed and amused at how much power she actually wielded!!!), Miss Rosamma, Miss Kumar, Sister Basil, Sister Geraldine.. All for different reasons, but they have etched a place in our memories
• The school picnics of primary and middle school (I will never forget the one to ITI park where a bull came chasing us!!) and the excursions of high school (I will never forget the North India trip)
• The idol worship and fan clubs – In hindsight, it just seems so silly!!!
• The school assembly
• The Christmas Play – The three kings, The carols, The crib, The rehearsals, The decorations, The Christmas tree – All had a charm of their own
• The Jumping Bean – A play which will always be close to my heart
• The groups and group wars – Akin to national politics :)
• Sports Days –  The sports uniform, “Stand at ease”, "Attention", "St Xaviers house…. ", The band (I loved the drums the best), The races, The victory stand, The sashes (I loved the feel of them), The boring long speeches, The eager wait for the prize distribution and announcement of the Individual Championships
• Annual Day – And the eager wait to listen to who won the General Proficiency award
• The stupid Looney joke – which initially bugged me, then after a point it amused me, and today it does not really bother me. In case you are wondering what the joke is, let me refresh your memory
X : Which school did you go to?
Me : Cluny Convent
X : What? Looney Convent.. Ha Ha Ha
Me : Bah… (Dude! I heard that joke in 3rd standard. Please let’s have some originality!!!)
• The Merchant of Venice, Julius Caesar and our favorite dialogue “Et tu Brute… Then fall Caesar” (I knew every single word of these Shakespeare’s plays by-heart), Poetry, The Gift of the Magi which brought most people to tears, After Twenty Years which made most of us sign pacts that we will meet after 20 years (Wonder if people kept the pacts!)… and the many other stories
• The formation of the school leadership and their oath / swearing-in ceremonies. And this was really so well organized and formally done - Almost like the Indian parliament
• The Needle work and SUPW (if I recall right) – I think I made things like tea cozy, pot holder, apron, skirt and top, hankeys, embroidery.. And I will always remember how one of us actually made a hole in the middle of a hanky during an exam and thought it would pass of as art work
• The Help Age India foundation and all our collective efforts for a good cause
• How we burst crackers in class, made teachers cry, made teacher resign from their jobs, made teachers complain about us…. Gosh! We were a naughty bunch…
• The practical records and how we used to wait to see the comments and grades (Esp. Ferny’s on our Biology practical records)
• And then of course, the socials / graduation parties in which you wore a white sari and donned a red rose – The many cries, laughs, hugs, photographs, autographs (And I still have them and it’s so cute to read what we have written)
• Finally, the D-day when you get the ICSE board results – the anticipation, the joy, the byes, the wishes, the hope for tomorrow….

And then we all take our own paths, follow our own dreams, aim for different destinations

I guess you never really can describe and explain how your school days play a role in what you eventually become… But here’s what I do know.. They play a part which you can probably never fully comprehend, never fully verbalize, never fully appreciate…

I just happened to Google on Cluny. And found that they have a website - http://clunymalleswaram.org/

And it made me happy to browse through this site – Almost as if I am re-living some of these memories..

In case you are a Clunyite, I hope you enjoyed reading this and it took you down memory lane...

If you know any Clunyite who will enjoy reading this, do forward the link

And in case you want to add to this list, do leave a comment…

How fluid can one be?

Sometimes, I am astounded at how fluid individuals can be. Let me try to explain my definition of fluidity - Basically you say yes, they say yes. You say it’s hot, they say yes. You say this is good, they say yes. You say you like something, they say me too. You laugh, they laugh. You cry, they cry. You are excited, they are exited…..And many times, they just seem to do things which no one else will do, no one else bothers about, no one else ever cares, but still they believe it needs to be done – They are almost always influenced and in tune / complementary to their environment and the voices around them.

And I am not really talking about people who care about you. But people who probably don’t have any real feelings for you. I wonder how some individuals can really not have a view point of their own, a stand of their own, a voice of their own. I sometimes wonder if they were born that way, or they molded themselves that way. Is it due to a lack of choice, or because they made a choice to be that way.

On deeper reflection, maybe this is the law of nature, the ways of the universe – for balance, for harmony, for continuity, for existence, for peace…

Just like there is a need for shine and rain, a need for the lion and the deer, a need for the light and dark, a need for the mountains and the valleys, a need for the bees and flowers, need for white and black, a need for the ant and the elephant, a need for the mice and snake, a need for the eagle and fish, a need for the tadpole and algae, a need for the oceans and continents, a need for the stalactites and stalagmites…… So there is a need for fluidity and rigidity.

For every person who is really fluid, there are others who are really rigid. And we all have things that we are rigid about and things that we are fluid about - to varying extents.. But then there are those who are really rigid.. And to strike a balance, there are those who are really fluid…

It’s all part of creation
It’s all part of the cosmic laws
It’s all a part of the bigger picture, the holistic vision

Veggie Salads..

I love salads. I wonder how since most people I know actually detest salads. I guess I inherited it from my parents. And my sister kept it alive by constantly adding the right catalysts and fuel. And over a period of time, it evolved and became my very own – by experimentation, by imbibing those I saw and tasted during my travels in India and abroad.

Well, why do I love salads? I was mulling over this, and …
• Salads are primarily food in the raw and basic form. And I love anything in its most natural form. There’s an element of purity, of closeness to the core…
• Most good salads usually have a great blend of textures – from soft to hard. And in addition to the basic fruits and vegetables, you can always add a range of nuts which only enhance the taste and flavor
• Most good salads usually combine all basic flavors – from sweet to sour to salty…
• You can choose, You can be experimental. You can create based on your preferences – There are simply no constraints (apart from your mind)
• Effort to make a salad is so less, compared to any other cooking
• The range of colors is amazing – The range covers the depth and breadth of all primary and secondary colors. For e.g.: Among vegetables - Orange of carrots; Greens of palak, peas, lettuce, coriander, chilli; Red of beet root, White of radish, paneer; Yellows of cabbage, cucumber;…. And then among fruits again a wide range – Orange of orange, Red, green and white of apples, Green and black of grapes, Red of water melon.....

And so, a good salad is a feast for the eyes and taste buds..

A good salad is actually a work of art. And just like everyone cannot appreciate a good work of art, so it is with salads. Either you have an eye and tang for it, or you don’t.

Cooking... Cooking... Cooking

It’s been another week of over-cooking. Ranging from Salads (Ceasar’s, Sprouts, etc.), Chutneys (Radish, Cabbage, Corriander and its many derivatives, etc.), Dosas (Adi, Pesarettu, Rava dosa, Plain dosa, etc.), Curries (Dhondakai, Beetroot, Bitter gourd, etc.), Gravys (Shahi paneer, Aloo Matar, Dal, etc.), Italian (Pizzas, Pastas, etc), Chinese (Noodles, Fried Rice, Gobi Manchurian, Baby Corn Manchurian, etc.) – I’ve tried them all. And each one of them was a creative masterpiece!!!

Well if you thought I love cooking, then I probably misled you. In fact, every day cooking is one of the most boooooooooooooooring activities. To be honest, I actually take a stop watch every time I enter the kitchen, and when the time is up – I invariably come out. It’s really not worth spending more than a pre-defined time in the kitchen.

And how do I do this?
Well again to be honest, it’s probably been the only real benefit I got of reading the odes of reading material on Operations Management @ IIMB and the zillions of literature I read on “Lean” – And the basic principles can very effectively be applied to the process of every day cooking. And it always helps me in my objective – which is to “Achieve Maximum Output in the Minimum Amount of Time” & this requires efficiency – basically of processes.

So then why did I spend my precious time in the kitchen cooking so much?
Well, because I love learning new things. I love experimentation. And I love doing anything creative

And, all the time in the kitchen has left me with these learning’s / realizations….
• Cooking is both a skill and an art ; It is a creative process
• If you cook from your heart, it invariably turns out superb!
• The more you try, the more you fail, the more you learn, the more you innovate, the more you create – All only enriches your culinary experiences; and no one can take this away from you
• Fresh vegetables and freshly ground spices make an ocean of difference in cooking
• A complete understanding of the basics of North Indian cuisine, South Indian cuisine and Italian cuisine – Basics will never change…
• If you understand the basics of cooking and have tried a dish once, you will never forget it. (Almost like swimming). You may not remember the exact quantity and exact ingredients, but if you’ve understood the process – you can always re-create it
• Every family has their trademark recipes – Those which you acquire the taste and appreciation from childhood, those which have a history and legacy as they were handed down through the generations, those which any outsider will never probably understand in entirety and those which you can only fully enjoy with your very own family. And if you devour a dish after ages, you will relish it completely and it almost takes you to heaven!!! I know that I almost went to heaven many times this week :)
• There will always be something exclusive about Mom's cooking - Something which you can never ever replicate or re-create. Its always in a different league. And like everything else in life, you realize its value only when you don't have it...
• It’s a moment of great pride and satisfaction when you make that just-so-perfect dish. Something which you will probably cherish forever!!!

And so for me it’s time for me to say Bye Bye to cooking…
And to move on to the next thing …
The list never ends…

Men and Vegetable Shopping

Most women I know are never really satisfied when they send any of the men in their lives alone for vegetable shopping (Be it their fathers, their spouses, their sons, or anyone else).

I always think “What is it with men and vegetable shopping?” that simply don’t gel.

And I am not talking about illiterate dumb foolish men. But educated, smart, successful and really intelligent men. Men who are in charge of large global organizations, men who run billion dollar projects, men who have double masters and a PhD, men who are so wise learned logical and experienced in every facet of life.

But then what happens to them when they go to buy vegetables? I mean how difficult can it be? After all, you are only buying vegetables and that too on the request of one of the most important woman in your life. All it probably requires is some clarity on what needs to be bought, some basic knowledge on where to buy, some basic sense of how & how much to buy and some basic skills on communication and negotiation. Pretty basic stuff. Almost like common sense!!!

So most men leave the house entrusted with a clearly written shopping list which clearly specifies the quantity. Not to mention additional instructions on where to buy and how to look for the right stuff. All you have to do is follow instructions. I mean how complex can that be? We all know how to follow instructions. And probably leant it in kinder garden!!!

And so after the shopping, he returns happy with his efforts expecting an acknowledgement, appreciation and heart-felt gratitude. And in turn he is on the receiving end of the displeasure and dissatisfaction. Something just does not add up.

Why are the women invariably dissatisfied?…Simply because the instructions are not followed!!!

• Most times, everything on the list will be ticked – That’s great!
• Quality is completely questionable to the point that many times lots of stuff simply needs to be discarded (Is it so hard to identify good quality? Or rather so easy to ignore bad quality? Well.. Whatever!!!)
• Quantities are invariably ignored; and mostly much more than what is written in the list (There’s a reason why the quantity was mentioned!!!)
• Several additions are invariably included – A great bargain or a new exotic looking or a fancy organic breed is irresistible (It really does not matter whether they are really required or already available in the house or what the price is)

After a point in time, one of the following happens.
Most woman either “Buy vegetables themselves” OR “Accept their fate and just silently utilize whatever is bought” – What other choice is available huh?

Most men either learn to “Follow instructions to the dot” OR “Expect and are prepared to be on the receiving end when they are back home. They pay no heed to any comments on this subject” – What other choice is available huh?

And I’ve wondered why men fail in such a basic and simple task. So I asked few of them. Here’s what they said:
• It’s so boring. I’ll just be in a hurry to finish it off so that I can get back to my TV / laptop (As if there is no boring activity in their professional responsibilities. But they still do it with some level of interest!)
• I am just not interested. So I’ll buy whatever I can lay my hands on first (Yeah! Application of complex LIFO algorithm – Last In First Out )
• I thought I will help her by buying more stuff (As if it takes a genius to realize that vegetables are perishable and have a fixed shelf life. And as if he does not know how many people are in the house and how much it is humanly possible for one person to eat – Basics of any estimation?)
• I felt proud that I got a great deal. Just could not resist buying extra (Yeah! Right)

And when I heard the responses of one of these individuals who has a double masters and PhD and is on the Board of Directors of several reputed organizations, I almost asked him “How he got his PhD? Why did Dr. NA confer you with this title? How he figures on so many boards?”. Because to me a PhD is a great honor, achievement and the ultimate degree one can formally ever get. In addition to establishing your credentials in a specialized area, it involves a great deal of research. And with any research, there is a process to be followed and a logical & analytical mind-set required. So, how difficult should it be for him to buy vegetables from the local market???$#$!@!

Letting Go: The Mother’s Perspective

Letting Go is always difficult – whether it is your past or your fears or your sinking relationships or your failing investments. And what is probably most difficult is to let go of your children.

Why is it so difficult for mothers to let go of their children?
Sometimes even for a minute
Sometimes even with their husband’s
Sometimes even with their parents
And then of course, with anyone else – whether friends or family or strangers

Because
With the child goes a part of the mother’s heart
With the child goes a part of the mother’s head
With the child goes a part of the mother’s body
With the child goes a part of the mother’s soul

And if you’ve lost a part of your heart, head, body and soul, then
Something’s never going to be the same ever again
Something’s going to be gone forever

And that can’t be easy for anyone, least of all for A MOTHER….

This post is dedicated to my mother

Looking Outside? Why not Inside?

I am sometimes surprised by the irony of our lives.

Why do we look for help outside our house, when we have expert help inside?

Why do we value external advice if it comes at a high price point more than internal opinions which we can get for free?

Why do we treasure words if they are written by a globally reputed philosopher, when the same string of words your mother probably whispered to you during your childhood?

Let me explain my point with a few examples:

Example 1 - A medical doctor of very high repute told me that every time his wife suffers from a minor ailment like cough, cold or fever, she goes running to a nearby clinic for consultation. And even though she had expert medical advice right next to her, she preferred the external opinion. And not to mention that this doctor has such a phenomenal reputation that patients come from all parts of the globe just to seek his opinion. What a paradox?

Example 2 – Many large organizations are willing to pay significant amount of dollars for advisory services provided by leading consulting companies of the world. And even though the same recommendation was probably given by a well meaning veteran within the organization, the senior leaders and management team values the expert opinion of the global consultants better. What a paradox?

Example 3 – One of my good friends is a wealth manager with a splendid track record. And unfortunately, his family has hired another professional to manage their wealth and are also willing to pay a hefty sum to manage the same. What a paradox?

Example 4 – Another of my friend is an architect by profession – With living testimonials of several completed residential and commercial projects. And when her family wanted to construct their house, they looked for professional services outside. What a paradox?

Need more examples? Guess not.. I’ve managed to make my point..

And I still say out loud “Why these paradoxes?”

Indian Hospitals – Interesting Developments

Over the recent past, I have had the opportunity to visit several hospitals across India. With time at my hand and no specific agenda, I was mulling over what I should do. At one such moment, I decided that it would be worthwhile to enquire and observe (just out of curiosity) the nature of processes followed and the adoption of technology. In this endeavor, I spent ample time with operational folks in the insurance helpdesk and billing departments. And I was pleasantly surprised as I learnt some of the facts.

Listing below some interesting observations and developments that I found in these hospitals
* SMS confirmation of medical appointments
* Mail acceptance of insurance policy details
* Mail delivery of medical reports to the patients
* A phone call to the patients in case of cancellation of the medical appointment due to unexpected non-availability of the doctors
* Procurement and Availability of high end medical equipment (I will be writing more about these in upcoming blogs)
* Felicitation with a Bravery award to kids who undergo surgeries and bear it all. I personally knew one the kids who received this award. And I know how happy it made her and her family. None of them really expected to receive an honor for undergoing a surgery. But then, yes! It was definitely well received and well deserved
* Processes are neither well defined, nor documented, nor followed. There are more exceptions than norms. And yet, even in the largest hospitals everything appears to function smoothly. Of course, efficiency in completely questionable, but at least the engine is moving forward
* Consultation rates in some hospitals are based on your medical qualifications. For e.g.: Different rates for MD, DM
* Consultation Rates have sky rocketed. From my observation, following are some of the rates:

	A Class Hospital	B Class Hospital
Cardiologist	Rs 500	Rs 300
Nephrologist	Rs 400	Rs 300
Pediatrician	Rs 500	Rs 400
Gynecologist	Rs 400	Rs 300

A Class hospital – A modern hospital which has been set-up / invested significantly in up gradation after 2005, and has modern infrastructure and claims to have high end facilities
B Class hospital – A hospital which has been in existence from before 2005, and does not boast of very modern infrastructure or high end facilities

I wonder why pediatricians charge the highest consultation fees – Obviously, people are paying these amounts and hence hospitals continue to charge these rates. Simply goes to show that people are willing to spend any amount for the well being of their children.
* Most of the doctors are not really affiliated to a single hospital. They are visiting consultants for several hospitals. In addition they own a private practice either at their residence or a private clinic. The consultation rates they charge for private practice is usually much lower than what they charge at the hospitals.

From whatever I have observed so far, here’s what I do believe:
1) There is great scope for adoption of technology in multiple dimensions of operation
2) There is a crying need and significant scope for process definition, process optimization, process efficiency and process improvements

And the more I look around, the more I read, the more I discuss with others, I am convinced that the two sectors which have phenomenal growth potential in India over the next decade are Health & Medical Care and Education.