For a marriage to really work

It is important to have…
Some shared values
Some shared priorities
Some shared passions
Some shared responsibilities
Some shared laughs
Some shared tears
Some shared opinions
Some shared trials
Some shared habits
Some shared tastes in cuisines
Some shared sacrifices
Some shared moments
Some shared experiences
Some shared goals
Some shared dreams

And then of course an openness to accept and respect the differences in all the above
Just strong emotions and feelings may probably not last a lifetime…

Somethings we do...

Something’s we do to share
Something’s we do for love
Something’s we do out of love
Something’s we do out of fear
Something’s we do out of respect
Something’s we do to prove a point
Something’s we do because we care
Something’s we do to show that we care
Something’s we do to show that we don’t care
Something’s we do to make a difference
Something’s we do just for our self
Something’s we do as it is the law
Something’s we do for general good
Something’s we do out of habit
Something’s we do for fun
Something’s we do out of spite
Something’s we do to break the monotony
Something’s we do just to try
Something’s we do to conform
Something’s we do to test ourselves
Something’s we do to bamboozle ourselves
Something’s we do to con others
Something’s we do to earn a living
Something’s we do as we have nothing else to do
Something’s we do to escape
Something’s we do as our parents said so
Something’s we do to relive a memory
Something’s we do out of kindness.. out of generosity
Something’s we do out of helplessness
Something’s we do to help
Something’s we do in frustration
Something’s we do in anger
Something’s we do to get us through the day

Tough Decisions

For every Tough Decision you make you grow up…Grow up way beyond your own imagination
Not just make a decision… But own them and take responsibility for them
And live to see the consequences of your decisions…

Decisions about family
Decisions about friends
Decisions about health
Decisions about money
Decisions in the hospital
Decisions in the board room
Decisions on hiring and firing
Decisions on whose side to take
Decisions at the operating table
Decisions on elections
Decisions on selections
Decisions on winners
Decisions on staying back
Decisions on moving ahead…

Making a tough decision is never easy…

And more so if you do not have all the data points, complete information and a holistic multi-dimensional view of the situation at hand… In the real world of constraints and asymmetric information, you tend to observe, assimilate and process wearing a lens of our own.. One which is filled with biases, legacies, judgments, influences….. So you can never be sure if you’re making the right decision.. And if it affects other’s lives.. then the decision is all the more tough

It requires courage, power of the mind and strength of character to make a tough decision

And while making a tough decision is one side of the coin, communicating the same is another side of the same coin. One filled with its own set of challenges..
When to communicate?
Where to communicate?
How to communicate?
Whom to communicate?
And more importantly whether you should even communicate or not?

And once the communication is over, then comes the toughest part…
To live the decision you made
To own it up for all its consequences
And witness whether it was right or wrong!!!

Lies Lies Lies

Sometimes wonder why adults lie so much…

Lies of all kinds
Black lies, White lies and all those in between

Lies of all magnitudes
Really tiny inconsequential ones, Really large life-changing ones and all those in between

Lies for all reasons
For good causes, Bad causes and all those in between

Lies Lies Lies
Sometimes one loses track of what is reality and what is a lie
And if you reach that stage
Not very healthy
Both for yourself
And for those around you…

And someday sometime you are accountable for all the lies you said
After all, what goes around comes around...

Lost!!!

I discovered that I have lost one of the most valued possessions of my life...
Something which is not of great monetary value
Nevertheless of great significance in my life

Something which was always there - on me, with me & for me
Something which gave me strength
Something which gave me support
Something which has been a living testimonial to my life

I still don't know how I managed to lose something so precious
But it appears to be gone
And the optimist in me hopes to find it as magically as it was lost
And till then... There's a part of me which is lost with it
And I shall miss you!!!

Reader Feedback Solicited...

Its March... Its that time of the year again....The Appraisal Time...
And so I thought why not get some feedback on my blog VERVE as well... After all its been one year for it too..

So if you've been reading my blog, a few quick questions to elicit your feedback:
1) What was the post you liked the best? And Why?
2) Any Comments on the way I write? What you like? or What you don't like?
3) What would you like me to write more about?

Leave a comment with the answers to the above questions...
Or anything else you want me to know..
Thanks

Trying Moments

Trying Moments test us at multiple levels... And each such moment is a revelation, a truth, an experience that no one can take from you... Its yours forever... And many times affects your life forever.

We all react and respond differently to trying moments... Simply because we are all unique in our own right ; and our reactions and responses are directly linked to our core...

Sometimes all we need is to be left alone.. To figure things out on our own... To introspect.. To analyze.. To rationalize... To comprehend..To accept... To emote... To just be..

Sometimes all we need is human company around us. Of course it would be great to have loved ones around. But in the absence of it, any familiar known company is valued. And if even that does not exist , then any human being in flesh and blood will suffice. These are the bondages of the human race.

Sometimes all we need is emotional support. Someone to listen.. Someone to sympathize.. Someone to empathize... Someone to cry... Someone to laugh.... The physical proximity does not matter... But who listens does? Who says it does? How they say does? What they say does? And majority of us cannot express our deep emotions with too many people... They are reserved for a select few with whom we share an emotional bond.

Sometimes all we need is financial support. A temporary liquidity crunch can catch you unaware ; & then you need financial assistance to cross the hurdle. And sometimes your situation is such that you just can’t mobilize enough financial resources on your own ; & hence need financial aid for the long term.

Sometimes all we need is positive reinforcement of thoughts... Someone to tell us that this moment shall pass... This moment is temporary... The future is bright; abundant with hopes and promise... Again it does not really matter who says it and how they say it... As long as the message is genuine, it makes a difference

Sometimes all we need is strength to endure...
Sometimes all we need is hope...
Sometimes all we need is good wishes...
Sometimes all we need is prayers answered.. A divine intervention perhaps..
And sometimes what we really need is no recurrence of the trying moment....

Happy First Birthday to VERVE

In a random moment today I realized that its been a year since this blog was born!
So Happy First Birthday to VERVE....

Hmmm... Spent some time going through my old blogs.... And honestly, enjoyed reading them :)

What stands out in my memory...
* I enjoy writing - Writing comes naturally to me. Its a great outlet for thoughts and emotions. And if you enjoy doing something, you will find and make the time to do it (in spite of everything!!!)
* My blog is a live testimonial for the evolution of my literary skills, my thoughts, my emotions, my observations and my view of the world
* Some of the unanticipated outcomes of blogging:
   i) Re-connected with old friends - People whom I have not interacted with for eons. Its strange and surprising but true!
   ii) Several interesting propositions - Some which I had never imagined even in my dreams. All for the good!
   iii) Self Discovery - Learnt and realized several things about myself.. A lesson or two on yourself are always great!
* Starting a blog is the easiest. Keeping it alive, vibrant, interesting and worthwhile for both yourself and your readers is the challenge. Also, periodically updating the blog with the right topic(s) is both a skill and an art..

So Happy First Birthday to VERVE

Eat to Live or Live to Eat

Most people I know Eat To Live. It really does not matter where they come from or where they are headed. Majority of the times eating is a functional necessity - for energy, for existence, for equanimity...

And then there are those who Live To Eat.
You have to see it to believe it
You have to live it to experience it

Every second
Every minute
Every hour
Every day
All that they dream
All that they think
All that they do
Is driven by their desire for food
Either to produce food
Or to consume food

And I wonder how can food be the center, focus and universe of one’s life?

Some puzzles will never be solved
Some questions will remain unanswered
Some mysteries shall remain so forever

So...In conclusion,
Wisdom prevails
“To each his / her own”
Food, Life & Happiness....

The Final Call

When the final call comes
It is but FINAL..

When the time is up, it is up...
There is no extra time
There are no extensions
There are no strings attached
There are no additional frills
There is really nothing

Its simply time to say Adieu
And move on
To the unknown land
To the new world
To unfamiliar territories

Or to the known land
To the old world
To familiar territories
To where we came from
To where we really belong...

Wonder why we like to believe in illusions
And live in  a bubble
When the reality is in front of us

Wonder why we like to believe in the permenance of life
When the reality is that life is temporary

Wonder why we need a jolt
To wake us up from slumber
And realize how much is gone
What really cannot be undone
And how much is really left
And what can be done

Wonder why we wait to live life
When we can really live life this very minute

Wonder why???

Life is short
And one never knows when the final call will come

So why wait for tomorrow?
Live life today...
Experience life today...
Enjoy life today...

How life would have been?

Ever wondered how life would have been

Had you quit that one time?
Had you not quit that one time?

Had you listened that one time?
Had you not listened that one time?

Had you said YES instead of NO that one time?
Had you said NO instead of YES that one time?

Had you taken that one risk?
Had you not taken that one risk?

Had you spoken that one time?
Had you not spoken that one time?

Had you looked back that one time?
Had you not looked back that one time?

Had you sung that once?
Had you not sung that once?

Had you loved that one time?
Had you not loved that one time?

Had you danced that once?
Had you not danced that once?

Had you won that one time?
Had you lost that one time?

Had you played that once?
Had you not played that once?

Had you gone that once?
Had you stayed back that once?

Had you obeyed that one time?
Had you not obeyed that one time?

Had you kept your word that one time?
Had you not kept your word that one time?

Had you been awake that one night?
Had you been asleep that one night?

Had you studied for that one exam?
Had you not studied for that one exam?

Had you prayed that once?
Had you not prayed that once?

Had you made that one special friend?   
Had you not made that one special friend?

Had you learnt that one time?
Had you not learnt that one time?

Had you invested in that one asset?
Had you not invested in that one asset?

Had you all the wealth for that one moment?
Had you no wealth for that one moment?

Had you trusted that once?
Had you not trusted that once?

Had you indulged just once?
Had you not indulged that once?

Had you paid any heed that one time?
Had you not paid any heed that one time?

Had you been fit, well and healthy that once?
Had you been unfit, unwell and unhealthy that once?

Had you laughed & laughed that once?
Had you not laughed that once?

Had you apologized just once?
Had you not apologized that once?

Had you that one experience earlier in life?
Had you that one experience later in life?

Had you observed more that once?
Had you observed less that once?

Had you met that one time?
Had you not met that one time?

Had you been thoughtful that once?
Had you been thoughtless that once?

Had you pushed  more that one time?
Had you pushed less that  one time?

Had you taken the road less travelled atleast that one time?
Had you taken the road most travelled atleast that one time?

Had you been selfish that once?
Had you been selfless that once?

Had you forgiven that once?
Had you not forgiven that once?

Had you remembered that one time?
Had you not remembered that one time?

Had you been honest that once?
Had you lied that once?

Had you valued that one thing for its true worth?
Had you not valued that one thing for what its really worth?

Had you been right that one time?
Had you been wrong that one time?

Had you been ‘YOURSELF’ that once?
Had you not been ‘YOURSELF’ that once?

Prof Thiru

Today, I learnt about Prof Thiru’s demise on 22 Mar 2011... Nostalgic about this marketing genius...

Prof Thiru (P.N.Thirunayana) as he was fondly called was one of the most respected  professors @ IIMB. Not only was he famous among the student community, but was also equally popular among the staff @ IIMB. In addition, he was highly regarded in the corporate world & also in institutes across the globe.

If I recall right, our last rendezvous was in 2004 when I was sauntering on the corridors of IIMB. Its been close to 7 years since we met.  However, there are some things about him which are so vivid in my mind... , Somethings he taught which I will always remember... , And some advice that he exclusively gave me which I will never forget...

Random Reflections:
•    I still recall the first time I saw him enter the class.. I never really thought he was a Marketing Professor until he took the podium and introduced himself!!!
•    Looks always belie. Looking at his small stature one can never imagine that he can be a dynamite in the class. Most of his classes are power packed sessions which will leave you with some learnings, some excitement, some surprises, some fun and some realities of the marketing world! I know that most of us looked forward to his sessions. And before you realize it, the class is over... 
•    His sense of wit and humor was a class apart ; Not one which all and sundry will be able to appreciate. But if you do get it then each session can be even more enjoyable
•    His communication style was unique – The tone, the pitch, the modulation, the examples, the words, the expression, the launguage...... Everything made it  so distinct. And if you’ve ever attended his sessions, you will be able to relate to this
•    A very learned, simple, humble, practical, down-to-earth and honest human being. Qualities which I believe are inherent in very few individuals, & mostly in the truly greats! Someone who was at times almost shy & silent about himself and his own achievements
•    All that I learnt in theory about the principles of Marketing are because of him (& Of course Kotler)

This post is dedicated to Prof Thiru... May his soul rest in peace...

Theory v/s Practice

Wonder why is theory easier than practice?

Is it because theory is easier; & practice is difficult
Is it because theory is for self and others; & practice is only for self
Is it because theory is a one-time effort; & practice is a life-time effort
Is it because theory is a function of thought; & practice is a function of action
Is it because theory can be learnt, unlearnt and re learnt; & practice can only be experienced

After Maternity Leave - Getting Back to Work

Getting back to work after maternity leave is a unique experience – both for the baby and the mother. Most mothers go through a range of thoughts and human emotions – ranging from worry, to guilt, to anxiety, to indecisiveness, to happiness, to what’s really the right thing to do, to how to balance professional commitments and personal priorities, to…..

Some Learning’s below:
It’s a personal choice – Whether you resume work is a personal choice. And when you resume work is a personal choice. There’s no right or wrong. It’s only what you believe is the right thing to do both for yourself and your baby. And once you’ve made the choice, be vocal about it. Some mothers started work when their baby was a week old and some decided not to ever get back to work. And then of course, there are all possible permutations and combinations in between

Be clear on your priorities – At least on what are the top priorities in your life. You can’t have a zillion high priority items. So be mentally clear on what and who stand where on that priority list. And if this is clear, life becomes a lot easier. You may have to make a few deviations occasionally based on the circumstances. So a little give and a little take, & life becomes easier to deal with. Also, you can’t have everything all the time. Some patience, some perseverance, some sacrifices, some extra hard-work…. All are important in the long term. So try to be practical and realistic about yourself, about others and about life

Plan Plan Plan – You need to have a plan for how the day-to-day operations will work out. And especially on who will be primarily accountable for the key responsibilities. And joint accountability does not usually work! So ensure that you spend significant thought in planning. Also ensure that the plan is realistic to suit your unique lifestyle and work requirements

Recalibrate your expectations of yourself – You are not a super human. So let go of some expectations of yourself. One question which is important to constantly ask yourself is ‘Why am I doing this?’. And sometimes the answer will take you by surprise. Many times you do so many things for no real worthwhile reason – They really have no meaning, value, impact and significance on your life or the lives of those around you. And you continue doing them (sometimes for all your life) simply because you are so conditioned to doing so! It makes sense to stop doing some of these meaningless chores and invest your precious time elsewhere

Express yourself – At workplace. At home. And at any other setting where you believe it’s vital for others to know what you think, how you feel and what your priorities are. You will be surprised that many times other’s are more supportive than you can ever imagine or expect provided you express yourself and are reasonable with your requests

Get the right support network – Of friends or family or professional support. Be clear on your requirements and criteria for this support network. Be realistic to the constraints of others. Evaluate your options and then decide on what will work for you. And it always helps to have more than one fall back options (Just in case things don’t go as planned!)

Give yourself ‘Me Time’ – Ensure you consciously set aside at least an hour a week to do things you love – just for yourself. While it may be hard to practice initially, if you are determined you will be able to make this time. And this is absolutely essential for your rejuvenation and to energize you. Your life has changed in ways beyond your imagination & suddenly the little day-to-day pleasures which you almost took for granted will have a whole new meaning. Something as simple as watching a movie in the theater or having a dinner without baby talk and worries or reading the newspaper or watching your favorite program on TV or going for a walk… Whatever you do does not really matter… Just do it!

Have a plan for any unexpected circumstance / emergencies – You never know when there is a situation which is completely unexpected. For e.g.: Baby is not well, Your baby’s caretaker is absent, You are unwell, etc. etc.(And most parents will vouch for this in the first year of their kids life). Think through how you will tackle such a situation. For e.g.: Will you be able to work from home? Will you be able to take time off? Will you be able to request a friend / family to support you? etc. etc. etc.

Start the solid foods (if possible) - Starting your baby on solid foods is a definite milestone in the baby’s growth and development. And if medically your baby is ready to be introduced to solid foods, try and initiate it before you resume work. The weaning bottle is great to use for introduction of solid foods. Also try and start the solid foods a few weeks before you resume work. Just to help your baby settle down to solids and also to watch out for any food allergies that your baby might have

Converse with other mothers - Your not the first one in this world who is in this situation. There have been a zillion mothers who went through this & a zillion more who will go through it. A few conversations with mothers who have been through similar experiences are usually of great help – Not only does it make you more aware of the realistic issues, constraints and challenges; but it several times opens up options which you probably never thought of. And sometimes, just a re-iteration of what you already know and a validation of what you have decided from an experienced mother really helps! Of course your situation is personal and unique to you. But then again, how unique can it really be?

Motherhood Reflections - The second trimester [Months 4,5 &6]

The second trimester of motherhood (Months 4, 5 & 6) are probably a wonderful time in the growth and development of a baby.

Simply because it is the time of several firsts
The first hugs
The first falls
The first rolls
The first kisses
The first smiles
The first laughs
The first routine
The first solid food
The first recognitions
The first crocodile tears
The first baby boos and coos
All these many firsts only bring lots of joy and happiness ….
And there is a novelty, specialty, uniqueness and charm in anything for the first time in life…

The baby accomplishes several milestones in this trimester:
Your baby recognizes you – And gives a smile of recognition and pure joy in your presence. That sometimes you wonder how your sheer physical presence can give unimaginable joy to another individual

Your baby responds to you – To your words, to your songs, to your movements, to your gimmicks, to your presence – in really sweet “baby” ways

Your baby exercises his / her discrimination to the fullest – After all, the mother totally deserves it!
The special hugs only for you
The special look is only for you
The special smile is only for you
The special kisses are only for you
The special Good Morning wishes are only for you
The special Good Night requests are only with you
The special laughs / throttles are only for you and with you

Your baby shows interest in toys – Finally, all those toys that you bought well in advance are finally of some use. However, greater interest is in the mobiles, laptops, remotes, MP3 players, cameras, iPads and other gadgets which are well out of reach. Again, the forbidden fruit is desired the most!!!

Your baby is on his / her way to discover the world – From people, to food, to places, to experiences, to sounds, to sights, to smells, to ….. just about everything!

The journey of life has really just begun!!!
And the wonder and amazement never cease…

It’s always usually about US

The more I observe
The more I analyze
The more I reflect
The more I am convinced that “In Life, it’s always usually about US”

Our life
Our time
Our food
Our sleep
Our home
Our hopes
Our health
Our wealth
Our family
Our friends
Our wishes
Our dreams
Our careers
Our desires
Our sorrows
Our happiness
Our well-being
Our possessions
Our entertainment

And I wonder
Were we born this way?
Or Did we become this way by choice?
Or Did we become this way by lack of choice?
Or Is this the only practical way to survive in this world?

Lost and Found

Over the past few days, I have found few things which I thought I had long lost forever… And somewhere along the way, I even gave up hope that I will ever find them…. And then randomly out-of-the-blue, they re-surfaced… And I was immensely happy when I found them…

Wonder why there is unimaginable joy in finding things which you lost (rather thought you lost!) – be it material objects, people, emotions, memories, lessons….
• Not because of the monetary value
• Not because they were really very significant
• Not because they were truly exceptional or unique or exquisite

Hmmm.. Then why?
• Probably because you are just so used to having them around
• Probably because you had some great memories with / of them
• Probably because you never found anything / anyone like them
• Probably because you did things you never had done with them
• Probably because buying them had a different meaning in your life
• Probably because you felt things you never felt for them / with them
• Probably because they were associated with someone / something special
• Probably because you were so accustomed to them being a part of your day-to-day life
• Probably because there was a special and specific reason for why they were a part of your life

Time for Everything

Over the recent past I have met some amazing people who seem to have time for everything in the world 
Time for themselves
Time for their family
Time for their friends
Time for their jobs
Time for their hobbies
Time for their passions
Time to learn and do new things
And most importantly, time to experience life

I’ve always wondered how they manage it… Especially in today’s time and age when most of us struggle to achieve a fine balance between all that we expect of ourselves and everything others expect of us…

A little observation and A little reflection later, here’s what I discovered about such individuals:

They have clarity
Clarity on their priorities
Clarity on what they want
Clarity on what they don’t want
Clarity on who / what they give their time to
Clarity on who / what they will keep away from
Clarity on what’s really important in the larger scheme of things

And this is the most distinguishing trait which sets them apart…

And I am not saying that they have 100% clarity on every life dimension. But at least 80% clarity on most life dimensions will suffice

They are super efficient
In doing things they like
And specially in doing things they don’t like !!! – Just to get it out of the way

All this efficiency only enables them to squeeze in a few extra things…

And how do they achieve this efficient state?
They think before they act
They work smart (& Sometimes hard also)
They value experience & only get better with repeated experience
They are always yearning to beat their own standards of efficiency

They sleep very little
By simple logic, it gives them more number of hours in which they are awake and hence they find the time to squeeze in just about everything [For e.g.: If most people on an average clock 8 hours of ‘sleep time’ / day, you end up with 16 hours of ‘awake time’. If on an average you clock 4 hours of ‘sleep time’ / day, you end up with 20 house of ‘awake time’]. And I am not saying that they sleep less occasionally (which many of us do sometimes for specific reasons], but on most days of the year. It’s probably not something which most human beings can sustain over a period of time. But some individuals are able to continuously maintain this pattern for a long period of time, which is truly amazing. And that's how they manage to find time for everything!!!

As of March 2011, feel strongly about….

1) Educated Minds (& not simply literate)
2) Empowerment of Women
3) Financial Literacy.
4) Chronic Renal Failure : Awareness, Assistance, Aid & Guidance
5) Holistic Wellness
6) Yoga, Meditation & Pranayama
7) Quality HealthCare @ Affordable Cost
8) Trust in Relationships
9) Healthy Living and lifestyle

Perfumes

Every perfume has a character.

Some tease you
Some entice you
Some please you
Some intoxicate you

Some make you sad
Some make you cry
Some make you happy
Some make you dance
Some are mood lifters
Some make you hum & sing

Some make you nostalgic
Some take you back into the past
Some transport you into a new world
Some remind you of a special someone

Some make you love
Some make you hate
Some make you fall in love
And some touch your soul… deep down…Really deep down

And we all have those special ones..
Which we love on ourselves..
Which we love on others..

Have always wondered at the paradox of perfumes
On ourselves, we spray the perfumes that we personally like
Does not really matter if someone next to us likes it or not
And we gift others perfumes that we personally like
Does not really matter if they really like it or not
Guess it’s our personal way of leaving behind our scent with a special someone

Twitter : My Perspective

Twitter was created on March 2006; & completed 5 years this year (2011).

What is Twitter?
Twitter is a website, owned and operated by Twitter Inc., which offers a social networking and microblogging service, enabling its users to send and read messages called tweets. Tweets are text-based posts of up to 140 characters displayed on the user's profile page. Tweets are publicly visible by default; however, senders can restrict message delivery to just their followers. Users may subscribe to other users' tweets – this is known as following and subscribers are known as followers or tweeps.
[Src: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twitter]

My Perspective
Over the past 2 years, I have spent significant amount of time on this platform – both as a user & observer of user patterns, usage and behaviors.

Some Observations, Views & Insights:
• A great majority of end-users are not yet clear of why they are using this platform. They are simply using it because it exists!!! And had it never existed, it would really not have made any “real difference” in their lives.

• Like with any platform utilization, you can maximize your gains only if you
o Understand it
 Its features
 Its limitations
 Its capabilities
 Its reach
 Its power
o Have clarity on why you are using the tool
 Is it a personal log?
 Is it for business purposes?
 Is it as a marketing platform?
 Is it simply because it’s available?
 Is it because you have time in surplus?
 Is it because you want to learn & gain knowledge?
 Is it because you want to share with the world at large?
 Is it because you want to create a brand – either personal or professional?
 Is it because you get to control - What you say? Whom you follow? Who can follow you?
 Is it because you get to connect with people that you never thought you ever can; & actually see in real-time what they are really?
o Effectively use it
 By leveraging its capabilities
 By being updated on new features & trends ; and leveraging them
 By aligning its utilization to your primary objective

• A large majority of users have limited awareness on the security aspects of the platform

• Most end-users are completely oblivious to the fact that the tweets they post can affect and impact their lives sometime in the future!!!

• During their expansion phase in 2009, one of the job descriptions that the company had floated was really unique and interesting - Simply because it had a flavor of creativity, marketing, technology, innovation, leadership, strategic orientation & end-user reach: A dream job!

• If you’re a serious Tweeter & not yet a celebrity – either real or virtual, some challenges are:
o Reach the right set of users who will value your tweets ; & sometimes this is the real challenge
o Follow the right set of users (& the fewer the better) from whom you can really benefit because what they share has some relevance in your current context – either personal or professional
o Be regular on your tweets to continuously engage with your follower base

6 Months into Motherhood...

What changes when you have a baby?

* Your life
* Your thoughts
* Your priorities
* What you value
* Your view of yourself
* What you are attached to
* Your outlook of the world
* What you are detached from
* Your plans for the future, for life
* A renewed zest for all relationships
* You have a new identity - As N's mommy
* A new lens with which you look at your past
* Awareness that your most precious asset is Time
* Understanding of the significance of food & sleep
* What it means to be controlled; & to lose complete control
* How your world suddenly revolves around just one little being
* Better comprehension of the differences between man & woman
* Wonder and Amazement at how much you are really capable of
* Gratitude and a new found respect for your parents (& for that matter any parents!)
* How time simply zooms by & about how clueless you are of the world around you – from the tsunamis, to the scams, to the movies, to the seasons…………
* And last but not the least, Realization of what all you took for granted all through life!!!

In a nutshell, just about everything.

That’s why it’s probably said that you have a second life when you have a baby – You learn, grow and evolve along with your baby! And sometimes wonder if it’s really the same YOU!!!

To Dr IV

I first saw her when I was lying groggy eyed in the hospital. And there she was standing – A toothy grin as she showed me my baby. It’s a moment that I’ll never forget! The sight of your baby for the first time in your life is something which no mother will ever forget – And words do no justice to explain the emotion.. So I won’t even try! Just that if you have experienced it, you will know what I mean…

Anyways, so began my association with Dr. IV… She’s my baby’s pediatrician and has been a part of our lives for the past 6 months...

I usually don’t look forward to hospital visits or meeting doctors ... But with Dr IV it’s a whole new story...
· She’s one of the most positive people I know – Always cheerful and warm!
· She knows the right thing to say – especially to a worried parent (And add to that first time psyched parents & you have to see it to believe what bothers them!!!)
· One of those sweet motherly smiles from her - You just feel everything is fine
· She keeps me engaged and I have no track of how time flies when I am with her
· She motivates, inspires and instills self-confidence : And sometimes replenishing these are so important for a mother
· When she holds your baby, you feel your baby is really in the right hands :)
· She always suggests practical solutions to any problem – Always based on your personal context and environment
· Based on the situation, she suggests natural home-made remedies for most ailments
· And lastly, we both have a Bangalore connection - We love talking about Bangalore, Our Bangalore trips, And the good life in Bangalore (Our next Bangalore sojourn together  is always a hot topic of discussion during a consultation)

And I am now working on getting her started on her own blog..
Something which I know will benefit lot of mom’s like me
Something which I know she will enjoy publishing (just like her book which has helped lots of mothers)

So look out for my upcoming post announcing the launch of her blog…

This post is dedicated to Dr. IV

Cross Cultural Marriages

You never know in entirety what you are signing up for in marriage. Add to that a cross cultural marriage. And you end up with a range of emotions and experiences as you go through life. Ranging from wonder, to confusion, to appreciation, to frustration, to joy, to disbelief, to endurance, to tolerance, to realization – of similarities & differences…And finally all leading to acceptance…

It does not matter what your ethnicity is (could be from Iyers to Iyengars to Reddys to Kaushiks to Sharmas…), what language you speak (German, French, Hindi, Malayalam…), whether you’re a boy or a girl, where you live (in Timbuktu or Bangalore).

The underlying truth is that “There are differences between any two homes. Simply because every home is made of people. And every individual is unique. So combine two, three or four unique individuals and you end up with a unique environment. And that’s what defines a home.”

And then marriage is after all a unison of two people.. Who in turn come from different homes... and have had different upbringing which (to some extent) has been influenced by their cultural environment...

And just like every individual is unique.. So is every culture.. There’s no right or wrong. They are simply different. And every culture has its own evolution and its own celebrations which define it, which typecast it, which differentiate it.

From my experiences, following are extremely important to make a cross cultural marriage work

1) Basic Knowledge & Awareness of cultures: Both your own and that of your spouse. This is extremely vital to be able to understand the similarities and differences. And it is really not important to know every aspect of a culture (& probably not practically feasible either).However, the basics and a high level understanding will go a long way in making the marraige work. This is something which can be learnt if you keep your eyes, ears, mind & of course Google open J

2) Openness of mind: To listen, To appreciate, To accept. And only if one is “truly open”, is it possible to experience a different culture in totality. And also to be able to enjoy a variety of associated flavors of a new culture. And if one takes a minute to reflect, you will realize that at the basic level there are more similarities than differences. After all, the origin of the human race as a whole is the same.

3) Adaptability: To be flexible in molding oneself - According to the situation; According to the need of the hour and According to the ecosystem around. And adaptability is something which we are all inherently blessed with! Just that sometimes we choose not to adapt. And this is a personal choice which has consequences. And as long as we are conscious of the choice and are ready to face the consequences, then it’s fine.

4) Communication: This is probably a very important aspect of any marraige and of life. But more so in a cross cultural marraige simply because if you don't express yourself there's no way that your spouse will ever know, understand or appreciate your point of view - in the cultural context.

5) Managing Expectations: This is again one of the most important ingredient for a successful cross cultulral marraige. About some things, one is ready and willing to change after marraige.. But about some things, one probably cannot change (for whatever reasons). And hence it becomes important to manage expectations - To respect the other's point of view, To educate, To enable experience a new culture and Also to be sensitive on where to draw the line... And all this is integral to managing expectations of each other, of the families, of the cultural communities and of society at large...

Three Things that can see you through any day...

I was in conversation with a very dear friend of mine & she asked me "What are three things that can see you through any day?".... I did not answer it then... But here's my response after a little reflection...

1. Passion - Passion for your life, Passion for your family, Passion for your hobbies, Passion for people, Passion for your job, Passion for your house, Passion to follow your dreams, Passion for love, Passion for learning, Passion for growth, Passion to evolve, Passion to lead, Passion to.... just about anything. If you are passionate, you can sail through any kind of day

2. Laughs - A few laughs - with friends, family, strangers, at the TV and with the TV, on Google, on the conference call, at the meetings, at a park... Wherever! Whenever! And with whoever! It just does not matter. If you can laugh a little, you can sail through any kind of day...

3. Hopes - At the end of the day, a little Hope - Hope for peace, Hope for new joys, Hope for a good nights sleep, Hope for a hearty meal, Hope for lasting frienships, Hope for love, Hope for success, Hope for wealth, Hope for fame, Hope for glory, Hope for dreams to come true, Hope for a better tomorrow, Hope for a better world, Hope for new opportunities, possibilities, surprises...

So ...... Hope your happy with my answer :)

Pain..

Wonder what is tougher?

* Enduring pain
* Holding on to pain ; & not being able to 'let-go'
* Witnessing your loved ones enduring pain
* Inability to do anything when you see your loved ones in pain
* Observing the pain of the world around you just go by your eyes

Whether physical, emotional or mental, there is something about pain
That re-defines you
That makes you think
That gives you strength
That makes you realize how personal pain is
That is a moment of truth - of yourself, of others, of the world and of reality

New Age Mothers...

They care
They love
They plan
They think
They dream
They endure
They are vocal
They are aware
They work hard
They are practical
They are confident
They make sacrifices
They are financially wise and sound
They have figured their sense of priorities
They are willing to mend, mould and meander
They are sincere and committed to their maternal responsibilities
They have mastered the art of fine balance – between all the roles they play and the numerous responsibilities they shoulder
They have understood the inherent need and importance of “ME time” – which is vital to help them bring out the best in them

This post is dedicated to new age mothers - They are super women!!!

Aerobics and Nadia Comaneci..

The mention of aerobics brings forth an image.. One of Nadia Comenaci’s perfect ten. And I loved her in the first performance I ever saw her in; & in all her subsequent performances. She was so wonderful, innocent, pretty, graceful, agile, flexible, honest, true to her sport,… and picture perfect when she first won the Olympics gold. I still remember the act so vividly… And she made me fall in love with aerobics… I love to watch the performances – live, recorded, in serials, in movies… whatever..!!!

Here’s why:
* Its a visual treat
* Requires great agility and flexibility of body
* Demonstrates strength of mind - Vital for an act
* Focus and Concentration are supreme
* Demands relentless practice ; And only then are the results yielded
* There's a balance and harmony which is visible in an act ; And that's beautiful and unique to aerobics