The Maid Saga...

If you are living in an Indian metro, one of the most important elements of your day-to-day life is your maid.

It really does not matter whether you are a student or a working professional or are retired

It really does not matter if you are living alone or with others

It really does not matter if you live in an apartment or a villa

It really does not matter…..

                          

Your life is at the mercy of your domestic help...

Someone told me recently "It's probably easier to get a good spouse than a good maid".. I laughed at it then, but in hindsight realize that it's true..

Hmm... Am wondering why is it so hard..

Let’s take the view of the average household. What do we expect?

1) Reliability - Essentially, come regularly and at a fixed time; and consistently be reliable over a period of time. A slight variation is manageable, but not a huge range. And in case he / she is on leave for whatever reason, basic communication that they will be absent from work. And most importantly, to notify you in case he / she wants to discontinue work. Just imagine, one fine sunny day he / she announces that they have found other employment and will be discontinuing services from tomorrow. Your entire life is in a compete disarray :(

2) Quality - Over a period of time, most households are satisfied with average quality of work. If the work is done, that itself is sometime a huge relief!

3) Integrity - Some level of honesty that they will not steal valuable objects. Now value is again subjective, so what's valuable to you is not necessarily valuable to your maid! Nevertheless, all expect some level of safety of personal belongings.

And then of course, a cheerful & pleasant disposition and a positive attitude towards work is a big boon.

Of course, all of us have other requirements based on our personal preferences in terms of age, sex, personal hygiene, amount of banter, asking questions, languages they speak, speed with which they wok, how pro-active they are, etc. etc...

I wonder how hard it is to be reliable, deliver average quality output and have basic integrity. From my personal experience, it is REALLY TOUGH!

And why? Simply because after a point, your maid realizes how dependant you are on him / her and how much in demand his / her services are for you to run your household. So just when you think everything is OK, there will be a new request – either a salary hike, or some additional perks at work, or some liberties they can take at work, or holidays,…. The list is endless!!!

Being dependant on others is not something which I usually advocate...

But then for something's ...Do you really have a choice?
Especially if you are working...

Or are a working couple...

Or a working couple with kids...

So in conclusion, my parting words of wisdom
If you find a good maid, do a little extra to keep her / him happy – Your small (& many times seemingly insignificant) investments will reap large dividends in the long run 

Everyday I learn

My little daughter teaches / reminds me a new lesson everyday... And I observe and learn like an obedient student.. When it's my time to teach, I shall impart all my wisdom to her.. But for now, suffice to say that she's the one with all the wisdom...

Recent lessons she's taught me:
* Live in the Present - She always lives in the present moment. And from what I observe, she's happy all the time. She's completely engrossed and enjoying the specific activity that she is indulging in - Be it playing, crying, laughing or sleeping. She views the world for what it is and is not really out to judge anything. She only understands the language of innocence, purity and love. And responds to them in her sweet baby ways

* Have a Short Term Memory - Else one tend's to carry too much unnecassary baggage all through life. Its good to forget something's in life.. And move on as if they never happened.. It's always for the good!

* Express Yourself - Her true pure innocent expression of emotions - joy, wonder, happiness, sadness, anger, excitement, disinterest, recognication, .... All makes one realize how important expression is in our interactions with other humans. And while her vocabulary and language skills are limited, she still finds the means to communicate her point loud and clear. If you really want to express yourself, language or words can never be real limitations. You will find the tools to express yourself...

Of Closeness and Distances

What brings Closeness in Relationships?
Mutual Trust
Common Interests
Similar Priorities
Shared Goals
Deep Human Emotions
Attraction of Energies
Some Give & Some Take
Or a combination of some / all of the above

What Creates Distances in Relationships?
Conflict of Interests
Disagreement on Core Values
Lack of Mutual Trust
Poor Expectation Management
Ineffective Communication
Lack of respect
Inability to Empathize
More Take & Less Give
Or a combination of some / all of the above

The First Blood Test...

You can never really understand some thing's in life till you experience them.. Especially those of parenthood...

My baby was unwell and it resulted in several consultations and visits to doctor's, medical examinations, weight measurements, prescriptions... But none really helped her... Her symptoms continued to persist..

And then her paediatrician recommended a blood test... Blood tests to adults are a standard process - You get the prescription, You pay the bill, You wait for your turn in front of the lab, And when its your turn you are endured to the ordeal of the blood sample...

But with your baby of a few months old, it's different...Holding her in my arms and watching the lab technician trying to locate a vein (And they are hard to find!) was unnerving. But when they inserted the needle into her soft delicate little hand and squeezed out the blood to the sound of her shrill cries…Now that’s a feeling I can’t explain and you only have to experience!

There are so many mixed thoughts abuzz in your mind and emotions fluttering in your heart – of pain to see a loved one in pain, of sadness to hear her cry, a mental check that it’s all for her benefit to help diagnose the cause of the problem, guilt for what you did wrong to put her in this situation, ….

And then once the ordeal was over. All it required was a warm hug and a heartfelt kiss to wipe the tears and bring a smile back on her face. Like as if nothing ever happened

She will probably not remember it in the years to come
But it’s something I will never forget

Babies are much stronger than we can ever imagine
Babies are much enduring than we can ever imagine
Babies forget much to our imagination
Babies change your life way beyond imagination