If you have lost someone you love

If you have lost someone you love, the many ways to keep them alive:
·         Think of them for a few minutes everyday
·         Live by the lessons they taught you
·         Wear something they gifted you
·         Do something they used to do everyday
·         Wear something they used to wear

·         Support a cause they believed in

·         Wear something they loved
·         Support a cause they supported
·         Embark on an initiative in their name
·         Do something that meant the world to them
·         Accomplish something they always wanted you to do
·         Help / support people who have supported them in times of need
·         Perform charity in their name
·         Complete their unfulfilled dream / desire
·         Create something in their honor

A New Yearly Hobby to Pursue…

It’s extremely important to pursue new hobbies in life… And while we all have our favorite hobbies which stay with us for a lifetime, trying a new yearly hobby is definitely worthwhile.. Simply because you get to learn something new, you get to see the world from a different perspective, you get to connect with new people, you get an opportunity to re-discover yourself & most importantly it contributes towards your personal growth…

And why do I say yearly? Because we all have many things to do as a part of our daily life – work commitments, family responsibilities, expectations from friends, financial obligations, etc. etc. Hence, time becomes a scarce commodity… One month is usually too less a time duration to even get the hang of doing anything new. You’ll probably need a quarter to figure out how to do things with some level of confidence and competence. And then spend the rest of the year in improvizations and actual enjoyment

And why do I insist on one hobby? Because you can’t do justice if you try to pursue many new things simultaneously. And then over a period of time, you can focus your energies to achieve some level of mastery. Say between the age of 30 and 40, you seriously pursue one new hobby every year; you would have learnt 10 new things by 40. And that’s a good number of things to try out in life.

And what sort of hobbies are we talking about? Well all sorts of hobbies like

• Photography. For e.g.: Try a photograph a day for 1 year so at the end of a year, you have a great collection.  Or take a photo at the same place on the same day every year – say 1st Jan. There’s a great coffee joint which displays photos of a specific location over the last 40 years and the pictures are a living testimonial to how the place has changed

• Travel. For e.g.: Exploring places in your neighborhood, in your city, in your country or abroad. Travelling to places of personal interest turn out to be enjoyable
• Reading. For e.g.: A book a month
• Trekking
• Running
• Cycling
• Learning a new musical instrument
• Learning a new dance form
• Collecting stuff of interest from wine glasses, to jewelry, to crystals, to coffee mugs, to erasers, to pens, to pencils, to antiques, to footwear, to watches, to perfumes, to music, to purse / wallets, etc
• Cooking. For e.g.: Trying out new recipes / alternate cuisines
• Designing – clothes, jewelry, bindis
• Watching movies / videos / documentaries
• Sketching
• Teaching
• Learning alternate healing techniques. For e.g.: Reiki
• Understanding any specific topic in depth. For e.g.: Genetics, Crystal Healing, etc.
• Gardening
• Writing
• Blogging

• Painting

And most importantly.. Take some time regularly to indulge in your new hobby. And learn and enjoy along the way…

2011 has been about writing and blogging.. And while I figure out what 2012 should be about.. Wear your thinking hat and figure out what you should do in the rest of 2011 & in 2012…

What do you do every day?

There are some things which we mandatorily do every day, i.e, come what may WE DO THEM.

For e.g.: Some follow the news every day, Some pray every day, Some write every day, Some meditate every day, Some exercise every day, Some tweet every day, Some check e-mails every day, Some log in to FaceBook every day, Some listen to music every day, Some paint every day, Some read every day, Some talk to their loved one every day, Some laugh every day, Some watch the TV every day, Some eat healthy every day, Some track the stocks every day, Some dress up every day, Some reflect every day...

Some of these are a habit [which we acquired on our own or were forced to acquire]
Some of these are due to personal choice
Some of these are due to compulsion [our own or others]

And what you do every day is a reflection of

What is important to you in life..
What is a priority for you in life..
What you value in life..

And many times we don’t realize but what you do every day

Shape your thoughts, and
Shape your day, and
Shape your life..

Pause and Reflect

What do you do every day?
What do you want to do every day?
What should you do every day?

Do you keep others busy?

I’m amazed at how some people have this innate ability to keep others busy. It’s almost as if they can identify things to be done by others – any time of the day or night, anywhere in the world and under any kind of circumstances.

Old elderly people who manage to keep everyone in the family always busy
House-wives who keep their domestic helps always busy
Mother-in-law who keeps daughter-in-law always busy
Bosses who keep employees always busy
Wives / Husbands who keep their spouse always busy
And this requires talent. It’s not really easy to keep others continuously busy over a period of time.

You need to be clear in your head – Of what you need to get done – Be it short term, medium term or long term. And what you can delegate / assign to others to ensure that things get done. You need to identify the right person / people to whom you can delegate to generate the desired [not necessarily the best always] results / output

You need to have the “I’ll keep others busy” mind-set – This is a mind-set which not everyone has. Some of us like to keep ourselves busy and we are so busy that we don’t have time for others. And some of us can’t keep others busy because we don’t know how to. If you have this mind-set, you’ll figure out a way to translate this to reality

You need experience – Yes! With time you learn how to keep others busy. What you need to say? What not to say? How to phrase your words – A request? An order? A plead? .. All this comes with experiences and a basic understanding of people

So, how many people do you keep busy every day?

Swinging in the Park

I was at a children’s park and one of the favorite activities for many kids was to swing. I wondered why there was so much demand for a simple innocent swing. A little jog down memory lane, and I realized that as a child I used to love swinging myself. It is a euphoric moment to be in the air. One of the kids said that it’s the closest she has come to flying. And I realized that it’s true. You are in the air… Even if it is for a few seconds… And there is something about being in the air which is synonymous with liberation…freedom… and true joy… It is exhilarating…

As I continued to observe the behavior of the kids, a few patterns became evident. Broadly, the kid’s attitudes and approaches were as described below:

1) I will fall down – Kid’s who were afraid to even try, were afraid to even step on the swing and even when they did, they barely enjoyed swinging simply because of fear

2) I can’t do it – Kid’s who started off negatively. And how much ever they tried; they just never got it right. Either too slow, or they lost their balance, or they swayed criss-cross

3) I need help – The kid’s who wanted someone to make them sit on the swing and someone to push and someone to watch and someone to applaud. And even though many of them were capable of swinging themselves, they still wanted help

4) I just want to swing- The kid’s who just wanted to swing. They did not worry too much about how they were swinging. As long as they got an opportunity to swing, they were happy. They probably did not reach great heights, nor did they acquire great speed

5) I’ll swing perfectly – There was something about a few kid’s which made them swing perfectly. It was an absolute treat to simply watch them. They used almost minimal energy to reach great heights [in contrast to some kids who huffed and puffed to get a few oscillations], grace in the movement of their legs, absolute oneness with the act of swinging and total joy written all over their face. And among these perfect one’s there were two types:
          a. To whom it came naturally – It was as if they just knew what they had to do to swing perfectly
          b. Those who learnt and became perfect – There were some kids who observed others, asked around, spent some time to understand and then tried to swing. They probably did not get it right the first time. Nevertheless, after a few tries they achieved perfection.

A little reflection later, and it was evident that these were the typical attitudes and approaches of adult behavior for anything in life.

Some of us are afraid to even try
Some of us are negative from beginning to the end
Some of us need help for everything
Some of us just want to do what we want to do
And very few of us continuously aim and strive for perfection..

So, what is your attitude and approach in life???

Fade Away Into Wilderness

Over the past, I have been witness to several brilliant, super intelligent, creative and exceptionally talented individuals fade away into wilderness. At one point of time, I wondered how truly gifted they were and how the gifts endowed on them would change their lives. Somewhere along the way, it appears that everything changed. Today, many of them have faded away into wilderness … And surprisingly some to the extent that they themselves have forgotten what they were capable of.. And that’s really sad and unfortunate. But nevertheless, the reality.

I ask some… I speculate a little… I reflect a lot..

Pressure – There is something about pressure which makes one choose things that they would not usually choose for themselves. Key pressure points in one’s life include family advice and mandates, acceptance of friends, living up to the expectations of self and others, norms of culture, continuous judgments and critique, compliance with age-old traditions and approval of society at large. Many times, one pursues a direction which is not aligned to one’s thoughts and heart simply due to pressures. While everything looks fine at the surface, scratch a little deep and one will realize that in the long term this results to a lot of internal dissatisfaction.

Priorities – One’s priorities of life sometimes change everything. Your thoughts, your perspectives, your expectations of yourself and most importantly how you apportion your time. Sometimes, this means having to forego things, sacrifice things and put other’s ahead of you. And the result is many times an inability to nurture your own gifts to enable them to bloom to their full potential.

Responsibilities – There is something about responsibilities which sometimes burden individuals. And many times completing one’s key responsibilities takes a lifetime, sometimes it drains one of energy and occasionally compels one to take decisions that are in the interest of the larger good. And all these somewhere contribute to fading away of one’s own talents and gifts.

Immediate Living Environment – The influence of your immediate living environment is phenomenal. Many times, one does not really acknowledge how the place you live in and the immediate surroundings influence your life, thoughts, energy, lifestyle, view of yourself and the world. Many creative people always insist that there is something about a specific place / environment / location which bring out the best of one’s creative energies. And if you live in an environment which fosters one to unleash their true inner potential, then result is visible for all to see. These are true environment catalysts. On the other hand, some environments slay one’s spirit and this is a key deterrent to progress, success and growth

Self Will & Determination – While the above parameters are external and beyond one’s immediate locus of control, the key differentiating personal trait is one’s own self will and determination. How strong can one be in-spite of the existing pressures, in-spite of the numerous changing priorities, in-spite of the many responsibilities and in-spite of the living environment. And in the long run, this will determine whether one will thrive amidst the wilderness or fade away into wilderness ..

To keep at Blogging..

Starting a blog is easy.. But to keep at blogging over a period of time is a challenge for many.. To keep at blogging over a period of time, one needs:

New Life Experiences – New Life experiences gives one new thought’s, new learning’s, new insights, new discoveries, new perspectives, new realizations… And this is what provides the fodder for blogging. And the day one stops having new life experiences, there is a stagnation, growth is stunted, progress inhibited. But if you ensure that you continue to have new and different life experiences periodically, one will have something to blog about…

Passion For Writing – Most of us have life experiences, unique thoughts and great comprehension & interpretation of things. However, rarely does all this translate to a blog. One of the key reasons is that many are not passionate about writing. Like everything else in life, passion is one of the key ingredients to start and continue blogging…

Creativity – Writing is a creative process [Refer http://nipmu.blogspot.com/2011/02/writing-is-creative-process.html]. And blogging is about writing creatively and thinking creatively. So creativity is vital to keep at blogging..

Self Discipline – You need to be disciplined to write. Simply because most of us find 24 hours a day less to do all that we want to do, all that we should do. Hence, one needs to make time to blog. And for this, you need to be self-disciplined - to take those few minutes periodically to blog. What’s most important is to capture the thought, to pen it down and give it form. And then one can choose to publish a blog at any point in time.

Self Motivation - Blogging is an activity which is exclusive, private, and personal. It isolates one for the time that you are blogging. It takes time to create a blog that is personally satisfying. And usually there is no instant appreciation, rewards or recognitions. Hence, it needs self motivation to keep at blogging….

Raithas..

Raithas are great to cook... Simply because they require very little effort to make, taste delicious, are healthy in nutritive content & most importantly, you can be creative when you dish them up.

Raithas can be made with any of the following & how you chop the ingredients them makes an ocean of difference in their taste and appearance

Beetroot – Grated [The pink is a visual treat!!!]

Carrot - Grated
Apple – Grated / Diced into small pieces

Onion – Grated / Diced into small pieces

Cucumber – Grated / Diced into small pieces

Onion &Tomato – Grated

Onion, Cucumber & Tomato –Diced into small pieces

Pineapple - Diced into small pieces
Pomegranate
Green Grapes – Diced

Grated and parboiled lawki / bottle gourd
Grated and parboiled pumpkin
Mango

Mixed Fruits - Diced into small pieces [Apple, Mango, Grapes, Pomogranate]

Boiled potato - Diced into small pieces

Palak

Boondi
Capsicum [Green / Red / Yellow] - Diced into small pieces
Grated coconut
Combination raitha with any of the above ingredients based on your personal preference and creativity

Following can be added as additional top-ups for flavor

Roasted jeera powder

Dried pudina powder
Salt
Sugar / Brown sugar
Chopped green chillies

Finely chopped ginger / Grated ginger

Nuts like grated almonds, cashew, etc.

Chopped corriander

Curry leaves

Red Chilli flakes

Seasoning of mustard, red chillies and curry leaves

Fresh mint / pudina

The top-ups need to complement to main fruit / vegetables in color, taste & flavor to get the best result.

And they can be had as a snack, with rice or roti. Truly enjoyable!!!

Choices shape your life…

There are some moments in life when you can’t help but look critically at yourself & your life at the present moment and wonder how you got here…

The answer lies in the choices you made in life…

Often, when we make life choices we cannot foresee in entirety how it will impact our life. As we sail through life, we live and experience the choices we made.. And only when we pause, reflect and join the dots of the past do we comprehend the total import of these choices. Some of the choices were made for us by others. Nevertheless, they do affect in lives. While every choice does not have a noteworthy impact, there are a few choices which change our life.

Following life choices are the life changing ones:
• The school your parents chose
• The college you / your parents chose

• The friends you chose to make; & how you chose to maintain these bonds with time

• The closeness / distances you chose to maintain with family
• The career you chose

• The organization you chose to work on

• The place you chose to live in

• The choices you made about your life priorities

• The choice of your life partner

• The choice of children & how you decide to raise them

• The choice of what you must do every day

• The choice of how you value time – both yours and others

• And lastly, the choice of not to choose

Choose the above wisely. More importantly, there is no right or wrong. It is a personal choice…

Past Associations...

As we go through life, we all make associations with many different people along the way. When we form these associations, we don’t really think about how they will grow, evolve, turn out in the future and shape our lives…

We simply form a bond… a connection… Mostly due to instant fondness, an unexplained attraction, similar thoughts, shared values, related interests, admirable traits, plain familiarity and sometimes just compulsion…

And many times, these associations take many different courses with time.. To some we may not say a word for years, some we many not meet for years, some we may have forgotten, some we may have ignored, some we may have distanced, some we may have hurt….

Irrespective of the beginnings, past associations close to your heart DO cross your path sometime later in life in some way or the other. And when you cross paths, you can’t help but get nostalgic.. Go down memory lane and re-live the old moments shared together.. The mindless banters, rush of emotions, the mind games, silly laughs, arguments, special moments, outings together, cheap thrills, many firsts, fun moments, exciting times, new experiences, many experiments… And suddenly the association takes a whole new meaning…  And we view the past associations with our lens of today, value the people for how they touched and affected our lives, cherish the time spent together & almost wish that we could go back in time.. Just for those good old times….

Thank You M for everything

Some people touch our lives…

Some people touch our lives in ways you can never fully comprehend… never really rationalize… and never thank enough… I wonder why sometimes help comes to us when we need it the most… from completely unexpected quarters… and in ways which mean the most [sometimes beyond what we ever imagined]

Is it plain human bonds?
Is it a deep emotional connect?
Is it a random act of kindness?
Is it the ways of the cosmos?
Is it past karma?

You wonder
* Who sent them? 
* Why did they do what they did? 
* How can you express your gratitude and say Thank You? [& words sometimes do no justice to the underlying emotions]
* Can you do something to touch their lives in anyway ?
* Or can you touch the life of someone else to keep the chain of good karma flowing?

Thank you Dr R, S, C - for everything that you did!!!

Again and Again and Again...

There are some tests of life which we have to give again and again and again
Whether we like it or not,
Whether we opt for it or not,
Whether we plan for it or not,
Whether we prepare for it or not,
Whether we had earlier passed or failed,
Some trials of life hand-pick us, choose us, isolate us

As much as one tries to rationalize the cause for these repetitions, the effect of karma is probably the only befitting response!

Irrespective of how many times you have given some tests in the past, every time you give it
There is a novelty about it
There is something which catches you off-guard
There are some lessons which you will never learn
There are some lessons which you will never forget
There are some lessons which you choose to forget!
And there are some emotions which you will feel with the same intensity as the very first time!!!

To finally RUN…

Running is spiritual… There is an ethereal quality about running which one can only experience… And if you love running you will understand this…

Someone asked me why I love running so much… Hmm.. Well
· You can run anywhere, anytime & anyhow (provided you don't care about who's watching you) – No special equipment required, No membership required, No special gears required
· It’s a great work-out for your body. Running stimulates, activates and exercises most muscles in the body
· It gives you some time for yourself. And in today’s era, some ME time on a regular basis goes a long way in overall well being
· It releases endorphins [the feel good hormones]. They make you happy. So it does have an emotional up-side as well

So when I could not run for almost 15 months of my life… I sure did miss it! And then when I tried to run again, I could not… So I had to start from scratch…  And build stamina day by day… All over again…
But when I finally could RUN, it was exhilarating!!!

Who are you?

Who are you? .....
What really defines an individual?
What forms an individual's core identity?

Is it your name?
Is it your fame?
Is it your deeds?
Is it your power?
Is it your energy?
Is it what you say?
Is it what you don't say?
Is it your life experiences?
Is it the body and the physical form?
Is it the incessant thoughts buzzing in your mind?
Is it the range of emotions one feels with each passing minute?
Is it .........................

Is it all of the above? OR
Is it none of the above?

What's the legacy you'll leave behind?

Some life events make one ponder about "What's the legacy you'll leave behind?"

Of course, the initial thought for most people in response to this question will naturally revolve around financial assets... And yes! That's important.. However, we are all endowed with several other assets in life.. And many times don't even acknowledge them as assets or something we want to hand down to future generations...

Here's a list of things which should / could be included in one's legacy.. Of course, the medium and whom one chooses to handover these to is a personal choice.. Nevertheless, it is worthwhile to plan and invest time and effort to leave them behind...
* Knowledge
* Life Lessons
* Valuable personal belongings

* Family traditions. For e.g.: Celebration of festivals

* Special recipes
* Self-taught / Acquired skills
* Self-Discipline
* How to Learn?
* How to live Life and Be Happy? [provided you did it!!!]

At the end of life...

At the end of life, what's really important is

How will others remember you?
How long will others remember you?
Did you really leave a mark?
Did you do something to make a difference?
Did you contribute towards a good / noble cause?
Did you make a positive difference in someone's life?
Did you share your knowledge / wisdom, including the lessons of life?
Did you touch the life's of those around you, specially your near and dear ones?
Did you really experience life?

Emotions.... Expressions

Emotions... We all experience different kinds of emotions in the journey of life.. What triggers them varies for each of us.. But we all go through moments of happiness, sadness, joy, grief, anger, worry, fear, surprise, love, hatred.......

There are some life events which makes one experience the peaks of human emotions.. One feels in way beyond imagination... beyond comprehension.. and beyond one's boundaries....

While experiencing emotions is universal, how an individual chooses to express these emotions varies a great deal.. There are some who display their emotions in public (and sometimes with a little overdose), there are some who exhibit their true emotions to a close inner network, then there are those who don't really express their feelings to anyone..(This many times is mistaken for lack of emotions)

What I've realized is:
* Expression of emotions is important in the long run.. One needs to cry and laugh to be able to maintain a sense of balance in life
* Expression can be in many forms. Some people cry, some people scream, some people spend time by themselves, some people push themselves, some people avoid thinking and keep themselves so busy, some people listen to music, some people indulge, some people pursue some form of physical activity, some people play a musical instrument, some people talk, some people shop, some people write, some people read.....Once you find your channel for expression, do express yourself...
* It is important to respect and accept emotions and expressions - both of self and others
* If you don't know how to react or respond to an outburst of emotions, a silent acknowledgment suffices.. Sometimes all one needs is an outlet for emotions in the presence of another being