Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Are you ready to be a MOTHER?

If there’s one question which crosses the mind of most women at some point in time during the journey of life, it is this “Am I ready to be a mother?

There are some women who are born to be mothers - What I mean is that they are ready after a particular age to be mothers, they know when they are ready, they look forward to the motherhood experience with complete love, longing and gratitude, they love being mothers and it is the purpose of their life – And nothing anyone says / does makes a difference – It is their CALLING!

But in today’s day and age, there are most women who are not so sure - especially about “If they want to be mothers?”, “If they are ready to be mothers?”. It could be because they don’t know how they’ll be as mothers (For e.g: Will I be a good MOTHER? is something which most mothers think about), how life will change for them once they become mothers, how their professional lives and careers will be affected, how their roles and responsibilities at home will be (re-)defined, how they will be perceived by friends, family (spouse especially) and society after they become mothers and more importantly, will they lose a part of their “own identity” once they become mothers.

I’ve had some / most of these lingering thoughts at some point in life. And now that I am a MOTHER and have been through several of these experiences, here’s my view to the question “Are you ready to be a MOTHER?

Physically, biologically and physiologically, if you are born as a girl – You will be ready to be a MOTHER after a particular age (Again here, there are a few unfortunate women who can’t be mothers for one / more genetic / medical / other reasons)

Emotionally, you can never be “completely prepared” for the many wonders, joys and sorrows of motherhood. Simply because every day of being a mother makes you experience the highs and lows of several human emotions – You feel things for your baby which you would have never felt in your life, never thought you would ever feel. And it’s hard to express these emotions in words. But yes, being a mother makes you laugh, cry, dream, hope, wonder, feel pride, be amazed, learn, be angry, frustrated, irritated, exhausted, happy, joyous, peaceful, content and most importantly, try to be the BEST POSSIBLE YOU for your babies. But otherwise, YES! You will be emotionally ready to be a MOTHER after a particular age and phase of life! You may not be aware or acknowledge it till you become a MOTHER!

Financially, most mothers always desire the very BEST for their babies. And hence, any amount of personal wealth may not be ever enough. But the point is does your baby need the BEST of everything purely in the monetary sense? – Probably NOT! I personally think if you can take care of the basic requirements of a child, you should be OK and ready for the motherhood journey – Food, Water, Clothes, a safe and clean home, opportunities to learn, to discover, to express, to connect, to bond, to collaborate, to create and to experience – And trust me! Infinite wealth is not required to do many of these. You need to be a little creative to work within provided constraints, but you can get past most of these without excessive funds!

Socially, the whole construct of the unit of a family includes a father, mother, extended family and possibly siblings. Unfortunately, I know of women who for very many reasons end up as single parents (demise of spouse, divorce, irreconcilable differences within family, adoption, etc.) with babies. And there is a definite void in the life of both the mother and child. In most cases, they live life just fine – with some sacrifices, some constraints, some compromises, some unanswered questions, some strong beliefs, some unfulfilled desires, ; But also with dignity, grace, hope, love and evolve to be highly respected individuals ¬ But then no matter where we come from, don’t we all have these?. (Only that in such cases, both mothers and kids definitely have some negativity and bitterness about the past and how their life evolved for them) . But otherwise if you are married and have the social construct and support of extended family and friends, you are ready to be a MOTHER! And then of course, you build and nurture your circle of friends to take you through life.

Mentally, your thoughts undergo a transformation once you become a mother. It is hard to explain in words what triggers this transformation or how the transformation comes to be. But every mother will agree that you will always have one / many thoughts about your babies at most moments of the day / night – No matter what / what else you are doing.. (It is like a perpetual thread which has been spawned in your DNA that is running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year - All your life!) – Are they safe? Are they OK? Are they happy? Will they turn out OK? Are they healthy? Have they slept well? Have they eaten enough? Am I doing enough? Are just a few examples of the most common thoughts which plague most mothers.

What I’ve realized is that the human mind is typically an entity of habit and functions the way you condition it. So if you think positive powerful and purposeful thoughts, you and your child’s life turn out just that way! So mentally you will be as ready to be a mother as you choose to think

So in conclusion, the short answer to the question “Are you ready to be a MOTHER?” is this – Definitely YES after a particular age, and probably “NEVER fully” because there are something’s which only experience will teach you..

What’s your view? Leave a comment to let me know…

1 comment:

  1. " I personally think if you can take care of the basic requirements of a child, you should be OK and ready for the motherhood journey" - EXACTLY!
    "“Are you ready to be a MOTHER?” is this – Definitely YES after a particular age, and probably “NEVER fully” because there are something’s which only experience will teach you.." - BEAUTIFUL, and again, EXACTLY! Lovely post! :)

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