Friday, January 18, 2013

Motherhood Nuggets - From a 2+ year Mother

As a 2+ year old mother, there are some learning's, insights, lessons, realization and wisdom I have amassed in my journey as a mother.

Here they are:
(1) Every child is unique. Give them time and space to discover themselves and the world around.

(2) There is no such thing as "quality time" with children. It is "quantity time" which matters in the first 2 years of their life

(3) After 18+ months, babies are usually "curious" and "fearless" about most things. Be cognizant of this deadly combination and potential impact - Both on your life and your baby's life

(4) It is habitual for most babies to say "NO" the first time (or any time) they try anything (I think part of the reason is that they have listen to NO so much from adults). Don't let a single "NO" be the most important determinant in your decision making process. (Use parental discretion judiciously here)

(5) "Communicate Communicate Communicate" with your baby. Speak about what happened? What is happening? What can happen? What will happen? What could have happened? - From my experience, children whose parents who speak more to them on a daily basis usually are more responsive, receptive and communicative

(6) As a mother, let-go (or rather) re-define "perfection", "order" and "control". Your baby will re-define "perfection", define the "order" and "control you" - And that's OK!

(7) There is no concept of "equal parenting" in the first 2 years of a baby's life. There are many things which mother's only end up doing! (for whatever reason). That's just the way it is in majority of the cases!

(8) In the first 2 years, the most important things for a baby is a clean and healthy living environment, regular vaccinations, healthy nutritious food at regular intervals (Absolutely critical for long term child growth and development), an atmosphere of happiness and positivity and the right external stimulants - Makes an ocean of difference in the long term development and well-being

(9) Patience is a virtue worth building as a parent.

(10) Every phase of motherhood (or parenting) has its share of positives and negatives, good and bad, highs and lows. Accept it and Deal with it. Yes! Right from the time you discover you are pregnant till the time you take your last breath, this will be a fact and reality of life!

(11) After 18+ months children learn maximum by observation of what you do and the environment around them. Ensure you exhibit the behavior you want them to emulate within the 4-walls and outside the 4-walls

(12) The worst thing you can do to your child is to compare him / her with others. Just let him / her be

(13) A fixed daily routine (especially Wake-up time, Meal times, Bed time, Play time)  does wonders to a baby's sense of security, growth and overall well-being

(14) Be aware and conscious of what you say (& how you say), what you do (& how you do things) in front of babies. They tend to repeat you - more often that you like!

(15) If you take a stand, stick to up.
If you say NO, then it is NO OR
If you say YES, then it is YES OR
If you say OKAY, then it is OKAY OR
If you say NOT OKAY, then it is NOT OKAY
If you say one thing, and end up doing otherwise, it sends mixed / confusing signals to your child. They don't know what to expect from you.

(16) Use parental discretion to "draw the lines". Sooner you start "drawing the lines", better for you and your baby

(17) Model habits in your children that you want them to build for life. For e.g.: Reading, Eating at the dining table, etc.

(18) Listen and observe your baby's many expressions

(19) Make your baby feel special - Every once in a way! They will love it. And one of the easiest and best ways is to indulge them in what they love to do by becoming a baby yourself

(20) At this age (18 months - 30 months), you will always be the "BEST and PERFECT" parents in your baby's eyes. [I'm told it changes quickly after that :( ]. Enjoy the phase while it lasts :)

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