Friday, May 31, 2013

Marraige, Salt and Communication :)

Let me start by narrating a story

Actors : The husband (whom I'll call Mr.X), the wife (whom I'll call Mrs.Y) and the child (whom I'll call Baby Z). Married for about 10 years!
Scenario : A typical Indian house-hold which involves a working couple and their young daughter who is 3 years old. It's morning time, just before everyone has to head out .....

More about the actors describing key characteristics
Mr. X : Well-educated, single son (makes a HUGE difference in the Indian context :), successful and respected professional at work, Does not want to do anything within the 4-walls apart from watching TV, appear to be working / working on the laptop, eating when he wants and lazing on the sofa / bed for the regular doses of news and entertainment!

Mrs. Y : Well-educated working mom trying to find the "balance" between professional commitments and personal priorities. Living every day one at a time. Hard-working. Practical. And in the process of making peace with the "realities" and "unfairness" of the urban life of a working mother

Baby Z : 4 year baby girl who is happily extending her phase of  the "Terrible TWO's". Loves her mom and dad, iPAD, music (rhymes and Bollywood item numbers!), school and good food :). And her wishes for the day include Waking up with Mummy around, Sleeping with Mummy around, getting a daily dose of love, hugs and cuddles from Mom and Dad!, getting Mummy's undivided time and attention at every possible instance!

Scene 1 - Time @ 6:30 AM
Mrs Y wakes up, completes her daily morning tasks, followed by a little planning, a little cleaning, a little decisioning on the menu for the day. Washing machine goes on. All the toys / litter of the previous night gets sorted out. House appears to be in a decent condition!
Mr. X is snoorrrrrrrrrrrrring
Baby Z is blissfully sleeping

Scene 2 - Time @ 7:00 AM
Mrs Y starts cooking - Lunch for the family
Mr. X is snoorrrrrrrrrrrrring
Baby Z is blissfully sleeping

Scene 3 - Time @ 7:30 AM
Mrs Y starts cooking - Tea & Breakfast for the family. Finishing up the lunch!
Mr. X is snoorrrrrrrrrrrrring
Baby Z wakes up, finds Mummy is not around. Starts bawling! Runs to Mummy

Scene 4 - Time @ 8:00 AM
Knock Knock - The domestic help comes for the daily chores.. Start of additional questions, advice, inputs, grumbling and suggestions

Mrs Y continues cooking - Tea & Breakfast for the family. Trying to manage the bawling baby and the numerous banter from the domestic help.. Already exhausted :(
Mr. X is waking up.. groggy eyed.. Asks for Bed tea..And checks mobile for news and important messages
Baby Z has settled down now.. Wants milk and breakfast..

Scene 5 - Time @ 8:15 AM
Mrs Y starts getting Baby Z ready to school.
Mr. X has the bed tea and enters the bathroom along with the newspaper. As is customary, is inside for at least 15 mins (It's an everyday best practice - No matter WHAT! The only exceptions would be a cricket match, an earth-quake or some earth-shattering office work)
Baby Z enjoys her bath.. Getting ready to go to school, along with giving Mummy the daily dose of "love" and daily dose of  "anger and irritation" which includes things like throwing things, running around, etc etc etc.

Scene 6 - Time @ 8:30 AM
Mrs Y starts getting ready for the day
Mr. X comes out and starts playing with Baby Z
Baby Z having breakfast, and playing with Papa darling!

Scene 7 - Time @ 8:45 AM
Mrs Y is ready. Starts packing lunch, time for the daily prayer, checking on progress of work of domestic help, checking on Baby Z's breakfast
Mr. X goes to have a bath.. Followed by getting ready
Baby Z is all ready.. Running around the house

Scene 8 - Time @ 9:00 AM
Mrs Y just finished about everything that needs to be done...
Mr X starts breakfast. Then with an accusing tone "Did you eat this? There's no SALT. I won't eat it"

The last thing that Mrs Y needs to hear at this point..
Loses her cool.. Is completely irritated..
I mean - First of all Mr X does nothing to help in the ever so busy morning! Then, he passes remarks about the breakfast. And he could have easily helped himself with some salt! I mean "Can he not top his breakfast with some SALT"?

And "Why is it that if breakfast / lunch / dinner is cooked well Mr X has NOTHING to SAY?"

She leaves the house angry and irritated.
He leaves the house hungry and irritated.
Baby Z leaves the house happy and tummy-full (Thank God for that!)

What did Mr X and Mrs Y really achieve?
Nothing really - Apart from setting the tone and mood for a not-so-great day
Could they not have started the day on a more positive note?

If only, he had said "You know what.. I'm adding some salt to the breakfast, I think there's less"
If only, he had kept silent, and just helped himself by topping his breakfast with some salt!
If only, she has tasted the breakfast once!

If only.. if only...if only

And that's the story of Marraige, Salt and Communication :)

Did you like it? Leave a comment to let me know 

1 comment:

  1. Best post ever. So typical a scenario