Sunday, October 6, 2013

Letting go of PERFECTION [UBC Post 6]

One of the most significant and liberating moments in my life occurred after I became a mother. It was a moment when I recognized that I had to let-go of "PERFECTION". From that awareness, came action. It took time.. But it was worth the wait and effort...
So, I've mostly let-go of PERFECTION
As something that I expect in myself all the time
As something that I expect in others all the time
As something that I expect in the world all the time

Read the above again! Its IMPORTANT!

Here's the thing | As women, many of us tend to hold-on to the idea of "PERFECTION" way too strongly - in our minds, in our hearts, in our dreams, in our words, in our actions and as an integral part of our worlds..

I agree that striving for perfection is good, and also probably healthy. It can help you reach your goals, and touch the pinnacles of success. But what if the desire for perfection reaches a point when you are "obsessesed" with perfection in everything you do as a part of every day - Then it starts to make your life that much more "IMPERFECT". I mean think about it - Realistically and even theoretically, is it possible  to be perfect every single day of your life? And in every single thing that you do? Probably, NOT!

In the journey of my life, here's what I realized about Perfection
Perfection is surreal
Perfection is transient
Perfection is elusive
Perfection is a journey, not a destination
Perfection is a continuum
Perfection is personal. So what's perfect for you may be imperfect for me. So there's no real universally accepted definition of perfection
Perfection is a state of "mind"... a state of "being"

As women, many of us tend to beat ourselves on this quest for perfection
We aim for the perfect body
We want the perfect appearance
We love the perfectly fitted clothes
We want the perfect house
We dream of the perfect spouse
We love the perfect children
We pine for the perfect job
We wish for the perfect friends
We want the perfect lifestyle
We love everyday of our lives to be perfect

And there's more
We aspire to be the perfect daughter
We aspire to be the perfect sister
We aspire to be the perfect friend
We aspire to be the perfect wife
We aspire to be the perfect mother
We aspire to be the perfect professional
We aspire to be simply perfect...

Here's the truth | So much perfection does not come in even a life time

So, what's simpler is to acknowledge and accept that EVERYTHING will PROBABLY not be PERFECT ALL THE TIME

yes! for somethings perfection can be your goal and ultimate destination.
but not for every single thing, every day of your life

Would it not be simpler if you recognized and accepted
That every single thing is your life will probably not be PERFECT always?
And what is perfect is
If you TRULY ACCEPT the "imperfections" in yourself and the world around
And live life with these "perfections" and "imperfections"?

Would love to hear your views.. Leave a comment to let me know...

Originally published here

I am also linking this post to the October’s NaBloPoMo
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  1. I like the line Perfection is personal....a wonderful reminder for many I believe...

  2. I've never considered myself a perfectionist or obsessed, although there certainly are areas that I like the t's crossed and i's dotted! My husband, who is the perfectionist, learnt very quickly after we had children, that the perfectly clean house is virtually impossible ;)

    1. Clean house after kids? - I agree completely with that

  3. Nischala, a great post and a great reminder. I am always telling my life coach and organizing clients that Excellence is the goal not perfection.

  4. I have written a lot over this issue. And very recently I realised I am not following much of it. I am a working person who has no cook who is a cleaniliness freak and who blogs and writes personally as well. I also like to travel immensely and click photographs and edit. Somewhere in the day I don't get time to breathe. And off late I have started to cut myself slack. Its still a work in progress but yes thanks for this wonderful reminder.

    and yeah I am still not a mom. So god help me then :D


    1. Richa - Most of us (women) try to be super-women. We want to do everything at the same time! just not possible forever.. We tire out sooner than later. If you're in it for the long haul, I've realized best is to go slow and steady! And wow to you! You do so so much! You'll get by just fine , even & when you become a mom!

  5. The sooner we realize that nobody is perfect, the better it is! When we stop expecting people to be perfect, we can like them for who they are and life's much better that way!

    1. I agree Shilpa. Tx for stopping by!

  6. ................and its very difficult to live with a person who aims for perfection in everything.

    1. I so agree.. It can do more harm than good to relationships

  7. Nischalla,

    Your message of perfection is so important.

    Early on, I learned from my mom that she liked herself and she also recognized that she was not perfect. She was authentically who she really was. She saw her flaws and shorcomings, but she also saw the things she was really good at. And she recognized the outstanding qualities in others without envying them for them.

    I did not realize all we were learning at the time. But, that was such a gift to each of us. We knew it was okay to be okay with ourselves.

    Thanks, mom! You helped me realize what a lucky kid I was. <3
    Blessings, Dina

    1. Dina - I think you're fortunate to have learned this lesson (in practice) early on in life. I guess that would have influenced a lot of your choices and expectations of yourself. Way too many women beat themselves up in their quest for perfection way until the twilight years. It does more harm than good to their state of well being!

      You surely were one lucky kid :)

      Thanks for stopping by and your comment


  8. A person really must let go of perfection and forgive oneself for their shortcomings. I have found from personal experience that if you don't perfection can lead to ulcers, migraines, and depression because it is impossible to be perfect. No one is. You can only do the best you can do. ♥

    1. I agree Kathy. Life becomes a lot easy once you let-go.

      Thanks for stopping by


  9. This was such a profound and beautiful post. I could immediately relate to it as my wife suffers from pretty much the same obsession with perfection in everything she does and everything she expects from others in the world as well.

  10. There is a part of my short story that I dedicated to this perfection attitude in women. I have seen this happen too often. Well said Nischala. :)