Saturday, December 14, 2013

Women and Dreams

You have to dream before your dreams can come true.” Dr. Abdul Kalam

Over the past few months, I've been writing, reading and thinking a lot about the importance of having “dreams” in the journey of life. And by dreams, I don’t mean the dreams which you get when you’re asleep. I’m talking about dreams which make you want to jump up from bed each day, and live your life fulfilling your dreams.

I quizzed people in my network about their dreams, and as expected there was a range of responses which inspired a post on “Are you too old to have a dream?”. Evidently, the answer is NO. You are never too old to have a dream!

But there were other interesting observations that I also made in connection to women and dreams:

Women after a particular age found it harder to articulate and express their dreams? I can’t help but wonder why?
o   Is it because women don’t have dreams?
o   Is it because women don’t want to share their dreams?
o   Is it because women have not really thought about their dreams?

The dreams of many women after a particular phase of life (read as marriage, or becoming mothers) hardly revolve around them. Again, I can’t help but wonder why?
o   Is it the genes?
o   Is it the way women have been conditioned?
o   Is it that their lives revolve so much around their families that their dreams also revolve around their family?
o   Is it that their own dreams are somewhat side-lined / put on the back-burner to enable other’s to live their dreams?
o   Is it that somewhere they’ve lost their own view of “their dreams”?

So many women did not have any real long term dreams at all. Again, I can’t help but wonder why?
o   Is it that there are genuinely no dreams?
o   Is it that they don’t believe in the power of dreams?
o   Is it that they have accepted that dreams don’t always become reality, and hence there’s no point in having a dream

I don’t have all the answers, But here’s what I do know..
Dreams are vital to the journey of life
Dreams change with time and life
Dare to Dream!
And work to make your dream a reality!


Originally published on Women's Web

Linking this to the December 2013 NaBloPoMo at BlogHer

I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words 8th – 14th December 2013 .   Today's prompt is DREAMS

36 comments:

  1. A thought provoking piece, Nischala. I guess, women after a particular age being not able to share their dreams is related to the psyche, culture and our societal 'rules', where the family comes first and her own dreams take a backseat... sometimes they do surface after many years and sometimes they are totally crushed or forgotten!

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    1. Thanks Shilpa.. I guess it is all of that and more.. Hard to explain and understand, but its the reality.

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  2. After a certain age women stop dreaming for themselves and the dreams of their children become theirs. Maybe our women are conditioned that way.

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    1. If the mother is happy with only her child's dreams, then its OK. more often then not, there is a sense of "regret" and some unexplainable void.. ! Yes, conditioning does make all the difference

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  3. Maybe its the way we are brought up. Would women who don't live in the confines of a homogenous society become more articulate about their dreams? If a society doesn't enforce the roles, job description, expectations for women and men to such narrow tightropes, would it make women talk and become what they dream of? Are women in general just happier never living out their dreams(I am not agreeing, I am questioning? There are a lot of questions and never black and white answers...I feel that the day women are treated as Humans not "women" it might change.

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    1. And more food for thought. Suffice to say, I am in the quest for answers. Thanks for reading

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  4. I agree with this post Nischala. There was a time I it was to late to dream about a change. :)

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    1. Sunita - Dream new dreams once in a way. It makes so much difference - esp in your everyday life and when you achieve it. Tx forr reading

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  5. I have more questions than answers. I think that if women were treated as people, then they would probably be less reluctant to talk and walk about their dreams.

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    1. May be.. I am plagued with the questions too.. Thanks for reading

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  6. I think there are so many different "chapters" in a women's life. Each chapter brings new dreams and new challenges. It's important to try to keep finding happiness in those dreams. Interesting information you've gathered!

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    1. Yes, each chapter and phase is different.. But I think she should have some dreams of her own.. right? Makes life more meaningful and worthwhile

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  7. In my opinion it is all the stupid damn conditioning that Indian women get from a very young age. It has taken me a lot of effort to convince my wife that she can have a life of her own which is distinct and independent from my life or our little daughter's life and I am so happy that she has finally found a niche of her own now.

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    1. Wonderful to hear that! Not too many men have that view. And good for your wife for having found her niche

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  8. Questions well put, nischala.

    Woman today wheather it be in the east or west...are all treated the same :(
    India still dared for a woman to be a head of a country.
    US is not yet there...

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    1. Thanks for reading Ruchira! I think its the way women treat themselves and other women which can make all the difference!

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  9. Nischala,this is a very interesting debateable point. To some extent you are correct. because our society is still oriented enough to allow women to have their own dreams. But slowly things are changing. Jairam has pointed in his comments that he has been able to convince his wife to have a life of her own. All men are not so broad minded.
    I am now 78 years 'young'. I always had my own dreams, my own wishes and my own niche.My husband was always with me.My friends, who are of my age are not bound by any compulsions or controls. Actually it is the women who must come out of this .'control' and be themselves instead of crushing their personality.

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    1. Ushaji - I agree that part of the onus is on the women.But the ecosystem should support her right? You say your husband was supportive. But so very many women are not that lucky. And at 78, I admire your spirit. More dream power to you! Thanks for reading

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  10. we are really, never too old to have a dream...

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  11. Lots to think about here. However I don't agree with working to make your dream come true - and my post is on that!

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    1. Shall head over and read Suzy. We can agree to disagree ;)

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  12. I often ask my mother why she forgets to take care of herself or live for herself. Her answer always is a soft sweet smile.
    Maybe, a part of mother's dream is to see her kids fulfilling theirs

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    1. May be.. For some it is a choice.. But for many it is a lack of choice. The latter outnumber the former - from what I've seen. Thanks for reading

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  13. changes take place only when women in society/home/country/world starts dreaming. See a dream to bring change.

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  14. I believe it shows what women are all about. others. Their sense of life is often taken from the people they are with and hence I believe the sharp change..

    Richa

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    1. yes, but does that give then TRUE HAPPINESS? I don't know for sure

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  15. It's true when you say that age does not have anything to do with dreams :) As a married woman I can say for myself that while I have dreams for my family and my child, I also perceive my future and have some dreams for myself :)

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    1. Great to hear that Prasanna.. Thanks for reading

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  16. Interesting post Nischala! I think, people can never stop dreaming, so according to me the answer should be 2nd, 4th, & 3rd respectively...

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    1. I agree .. But somewhere the hues of the dreams change as a woman goes through the journey of life..

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  17. I feel the moment a woman gets married and has a family, by default the sacrificial being in her is awakened. She's ready to compromise and sacrifice and she forgets who she really is. This is what I have observed in most of the cases. So it is very important for her family to encourage her and support which is missing in most cases. Thankfully new era husbands are more open in their support and encouragement.

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    1. Support and Encouragement from her immediate environment make a difference in what she dreams, and how she tries to get there.. Thanks Natasha for reading

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  18. As usual, brilliant post and I feel there is no age to dream and men should support women in their quest to dream since it's their birthright rather than a favor bestowed upon them. You raised pertinent points and household responsibilities should not act as a deterrent to dream.

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    1. Thanks for reading Vishal.. Easier said than done , but worth a try to dream!

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