Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Sex = Female. Status = Married. Permenant Address = Kitchen | Do You Know ‘Her’?

Ms. Little Princess (3+ year old girl, curious, quick learner and a keen observer) said, “Mummy! I want a kitchen set. That is only for girls to play. I will grow up and cook food for you and everyone at home. That’s what girls should do, right?”

Ms. Pre-schooler (5 year old girl living in a new age nuclear family) said, “Mummy! Papa made a sandwich for me. But he’s not supposed to enter the kitchen. That is your room, right? You are there all the time.”

Mr. Primary school kid (7+ year old boy living in a joint family) said, “Mummy! You’re not supposed to go to work. You have to be in the kitchen and cook food for me. See that is what grandma does all the time. That is what the girls should do.

Mr. Teenager (15+ year pampered school boy and only son) said, “I will eat only if my mother cooks for me tasty hot food of my choice. I won’t enter the kitchen and do anything. It is what every woman should do, right?

Ms. Ambitious College Student (23+ year and pursuing a professional course) said, “I want my mother to cook fun lip-smacking food that I like all through the day. Else, I’ll just go out and buy myself some junk food. It is the least mom can do for me when I am studying so hard. And I will not eat food that I don’t like.”

The newly wed bride (26+ years and corporate career woman ) said, “We’re newly married, and it’s true that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So I ensure I serve my husband food of his choice. After all, we are just married and it is the least I can do as a wife.

The newly married dude (30+ years, well-educated and in a high-flying/paying job) said, “I want my wife to learn to cook like my mother. After all, what am I earning for if I cannot have good food. And no better cook than my mom. My wife better learn sooner than later.

Mr.Corporate Honcho (35+ years, well qualified and in a high paying corporate job) said, “My wife served me breakfast 5 minutes late, so I slapped her and walked out of home without having a morsel. How can she serve me late? Is it not her duty to ensure that the breakfast of my choice is laid on the table so I can have it on time?

Mr.Entrepreneur (40+ years, well educated and successful entrepreneur) said, “My wife spends the whole day in the kitchen so that the family has hot meals three times a day custom-made to the tastes of the entire family – kids and myself. That is her primary responsibility. And yes! She is well educated. But now, her primary goal is to look after the family. And food is one of the most important aspects.”

Mrs. Home Maker (40+ years, stay-at-home mom) said, “After all, we all live to eat right? And if a woman cannot provide hot home cooked meals for her family, then I don’t think her life is worthwhile. In any family, it is the woman (mother) who should sacrifice, compromise on very many dimensions so that the family grows and prospers.

Mrs.Neighborhood Aunty (55+, and has a view on everything ) said, “I judge a woman by how clean or well maintained her kitchen or fridge are, when I pay a surprise visit to her house!

Mrs.Grandmother (63+ years, wise and experienced) said, “I have given my everything for my kids – so that they are healthy and happy. Food is very important for any child’s growth and development. I put myself last, and have surrendered by body, mind, heart, money, soul and everything for the family. My food, health and well-being comes after all their needs are met.

Mr.Retired (70+ years, well-educated/qualified and retired) said, “I want my wife to make what I want to eat – no matter when I ask or how she is feeling. That is the purpose of my wife’s existence, and she will do it.

Lest you thought I was setting the stage for a family drama, let me burst your bubbles. All the people described above are real people and what I’ve shared above can possibly and probably be instances of what you’ve seen, heard or experienced as the reality in very many (modern) Indian homes. These narratives are in some way a reflection of our society and the reality.

For full reading of my views around the role of the woman at home, and in the kitchen and some thoughts on how the modern Indian woman is probably similar to her grandmother in very many ways, read my latest guest post published here

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