Tuesday, June 9, 2015

When my mission statement was "I won't let her cry"

No mother likes to see her kids cry. I'm no different. There are times when my little baby cries and brings the roof down, and there are times when she cries for good reason (at least from her point of view).. A few days ago, when I'd had just about enough of her cries - I embarked on a mission - That I would do everything in my capacity to ensure she DOES NOT CRY!. 3 days into my mission.. this is what I learned

Crying is her way of communication
And communication is vital to human existence and interactions. Just like every one needs to breathe, every one of us needs to be heard. And for that we need to express. For her, it is through her tears. 
Crying gets her the fastest response she desires
Again, she understands effectiveness in communication and cause-and-effect really well. If she smiles.. she does not get it. She asks gently....she does not get what she wants. She cries, she gets it immediately. It is probably for good reason that way too many women I know have the arsenal of tears ready! I mean it always works, so why bother the circuitous route of discussions and explanations and logic, when a few drops of tears can generate desired outcomes. After all, the results matter the most right?
No matter what I do, she will still cry .. out of habit
Hmmm.... Again, habit formation is a complex science and interesting art form! And crying sometimes becomes a habit simply because it is done way too much in kids. How else can you explain it when she looks at herself in the mirror and practices which 'crying face' to make to maximize her 'sympathy quotient'.. Sigh!

Not matter what I do, she has to cry sometimes – as a way of experiencing life
What can I say? Life has its share of good, bad and ugly. And no matter how much I protect her and try to keep negative things at bay, sometimes unexpected things happen. Like running and banging against the wall, or slipping over water she spilled over the floor, or eating stuff which she shouldn't eat and then crying over an upset stomach! And then she sheds those tears....

In the end, though I aspired to NOT let her cry.. She did CRY :(

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